


Dreams

by shadowcove



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F, Rizzles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-10-09 07:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17402921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowcove/pseuds/shadowcove
Summary: How much can your dreams influence what you feel?  Maura Isles had never known that her own dreams could plague her thoughts, and make her consider.  Consider what?  She still doesnt know, and she isn't sure if she wants to find out. Here comes Jane, who never had to dream to know how she felt, but she was never made tho think about it either. What happens when one over heard comment flips their lives upside down and sideways?First Rizzoli and Isles fic.  Please be gentle, and let me know if I should continue this little project.  Thanks.





	1. Chapter 1

**Dream (noun):**

**A series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.**

**Synonyms: fantasy, nightmare.**

* * *

 

She had dreams.  It was as simple as that, but the context of the dreams were, dare she say, troubling.  Never once had she had what she has now… family, friendship.  An unshakable bond with another human being that was more than platonic, but less than physical, passionate love.  Did she love Jane? Absolutely, without question, infinitely. Did she want Jane, want to make love to her, be with her?  That was something she did not know.  Yet her dreams, they confused her waking logical mind.  Did she, or didn’t she?  If she did then what?  Could she linger in a perpetual state of limbo, caught between loving Jane’s friendship, or wanting more of Jane?

The door to the morgue burst open and Maura took a deep calming breath and threw on her ever charismatic smile while she held a scalpel in one hand, and a liver in another.  She didn’t look up at Jane, not yet, she still had the view of her dreams skimming along her thoughts, but Jane walked around the autopsy table and stood in her eyesight if she were to look up. 

“Maura?” Jane asked in her smoky voice.  That voice, so singular, and unique had always made the skin along her spine react in a fascinating sensation.  She loved listening to Jane speak just to feel that odd sense crawl up and down her backbone.

“Yes, Jane?’ she said as she straightened up and looked in to those deep dark eyes.  Jane looked at her with those wide eyes, and waited, and Maura looked at her not knowing what she wanted at the moment.  She knew she was here but she, Maura, was still half dreaming due to those eyes.

“Tox report?” Jane prompted.  Maura shook her head and placed the liver on the scale, and the scalpel near the dead man’s arm.

“Oh yes, they came back negative for any known toxins,” she said as she walked to the computer screen and began to peel her gloves off her hands, so she could fiddle with the keyboard and mouse.

“So, he wasn’t poisoned,” Jane summarized.

“I didn’t say that,” Maura corrected as she turned around.

“But you just said there were no toxins,” Jane countered as she sighed, and placed her left hand on her hip, and the other on pinching the bridge of her nose. Maura knew that gesture.  Jane was waiting for her to go on one Jane’s so-called Google moments.  Maura took a calming breath and paused.

“I said no ‘known’ toxins,” Maura said and then walked to the man on the table, and picked up his discolored liver, “this is an unhealthy liver. I will run more tests on this organ and his others to completely rule out poison,” Maura said as she began to put gloves back on her hands. 

“So, you think he was poisoned?” Jane asked.

“I don’t like to simply think Jane, I like evidence, and proof,” Maura sighed, “How many times do we have to have the same argument about this?” Maura snapped. 

She immediately closed her eyes and regretted the tone of her voice, and the confrontational verbiage that she heard come from her vocal cords.  She looked up and Jane stood in front of her. Dark compassionate eyes looked at Maura and her heart hurt.  That was the only thing she could say with certainty at yet another sensation that Jane evoked from her.  Jane walked around the table and stood next to her, and placed a strong hand on her shoulder, and Maura wanted two things.  The first she wanted to shove the hand from her shoulder, and the second she wanted to turn into the hand and fall into Jane’s arms.  She knew she would not be pushed away, she would be welcomed by those deceptively lanky yet strong arms. She turned to place the heart on the scale once the liver was removed.  She heard Jane’s shoes on the floor walk away and she sighed and placed her hands on the table and leaned forward, beginning to breathe again.  She spun around when she heard a chair wheeled near the table. 

Jane sat down with the back of the desk chair braced against her front.  She folded her arms on top of the back of the chair and rest her chin in the crook of her arms.  The sometimes abrasive, impulsive, and impatient woman, sat there, waiting.  She waited just for Maura.  Maura looked down, to her hands, then the dead body, then the inside of the human before her.  She grabbed the instruments to stitch up the man’s chest, and torso.  She kept her hands busy as she thought of what to say, and how to say it.  Does she talk about her dreams, and the contents of those images, and actions between the two?

It did not matter anymore.  The man was stitched up, practically done being processed.  Which left Maura with her paperwork and her findings.  She turned away from the body and walked to her office and began placing the details in the report.  A hand with spindly fingers reached out and gently clasped her wrist pulling her to a stop.  She could do nothing but look down at the hand that belonged to her best friend. 

“Are you ok?” husked Jane as she stroked her thumb over the pulse point of her wrist.  Maura smiled softly and nodded then Jane let her go as she walked to the computer. “Will you talk to me if you need to?” Jane asked.

“Yes, I will.  Thank you, Jane,” smiled Maura.  Jane smiled softly, yet her brow was furrowed.  Maura saw her worry. Jane walked to the glass doors and then out toward the elevator.  Maura turned to the computer and began to type.

“But how do I tell you I dream about you?” Maura murmured.  She didn’t know Jane had come back in to get the file she place on the counter to the far right, heard her words. And then slipped out of the glass doors unnoticed.


	2. Chapter 2

Jane rode the elevator up to the bull pen, words in Maura’s voice tumbled over her mind like a hamster on a wheel, trapped in a cage.  She sat in her chair as she gave Frost the report and crooked one knee up foot resting on the desk while the other leg bounced quickly, nervously as the heel of her foot tapped against the tiles. 

_I dream about you_ , Maura said.  Jane held her hands together and rubbed her scars.  After all this time, they were still healing.  She wouldn’t tell anyone, but she sat at the piano in her apartment, and tried to do her scales since her rehab on her hands was complete.  She wanted that part of her life back.  Maura asked many times if Jane would play for her, and all the detective would reply with was a whispered someday. 

She rubbed her hands in thought, in pain, and in nervousness or anxiety.  Today, that very moment, it seemed to be all the above.  It was going to rain later, so they ached.  She was forever a human barometer because of Hoyt plunging those damn scalpels through her hands.  Her thoughts though, ran far from Hoyt and his torture.  They ran to a cinnamon blonde-haired woman, who, if she were honest with herself, stole her heart ages ago.  But Jane Rizzoli was never honest with herself, not with matters of the heart.  She would be a shoulder for everyone else to cry on, she would shoulder the world’s problems, and pain, but she would never ask for help herself.  She would never admit she needed help, even if it was help deciphering the mind and heart of Maura Isles. 

Jane ran her long fingers across her forehead and through her hairline at her temple, then sighed. Maybe Maura was dreaming about the dead guy on her autopsy table, Jane reasoned with herself.

“Jane,” Frost spoke from his computer pulling her thoughts from her best friend, “I found a hit on the vic down in the morgue. Caro Riva, 31, and is on a work visa in the country,” Jane watched Frost click the mouse and type in a few keys and his eyebrows shot into the air, with a shrug, “He is here for on a visa for the Boston Ballet Company.”

Jane was out of her seat and looked at his monitor. Ballet?  So, he was a dancer? Stage hand? Manager?  Sports medicine?  Costume Designer? Set Director, or designer?  Jane sighed and looked to the ceiling with her hands on her hips and shifted back and forth. Jane then pinched her nose right between her eyes and squinted her eyes. 

“Frost can you get me every public record of who works there or is associated with BBC?” Jane turned, “Korsak, can you please hit up your contacts in immigration regarding visa’s on this guy?  I want to know where he came from, what to know if there are other countries he had been in, hell I want his mother’s father’s mother’s maiden name,” she turned back to the screen, “Someone wanted this guy’s dead,” she mumbled and then she turned to the elevators.

“Where are you going?” Frost asked as he punched on the keyboard.

“I want to know what killed our guy?  Want to come?” Jane teased, and Frost made a face, and shook his face.  Korsak simply chuckled at his young friend, shaking his head, then picked up his phone.

Jane clenched her jaw, took deep breaths, and then leaned against the elevator, her hands on each side of the elevator doors stretching out her long frame and then the door dinged and began to open.

WHAM!

Jane Rizzoli only saw a flash of strawberry blond as a body crashed into her own sending her flying into the back of the elevator wall where her back took the brunt of the impact, but her head snapped back and hit the metal wall. She dropped to a crouch grasping her head in her hands.  Eyes watered, more from the shock than the pain, but there was a piercing flash behind her eyelids when she touched a specific spot, and as she sat there, she felt the knot grow on the point of impact.  Hands covered hers and fumbled over her scalp.  She hissed and pulled away looking up and found eyes she adored.  They were never the same color.  Sometimes light brown with flecks of deeper brown, and green, but today there seemed to be a small bit of gold in them, maybe in the gold of Maura’s blouse that highlighted her irises. She shook her head but winced.

“God, Maura, where is the fire?” Jane asked as they began to stand in the elevator with Maura’s support.  Then Maura turned and hit the basement button again.  Jane didn’t realize the doors closed, and when she blinked her eyes and made them focus around her, she didn’t realize how close Maura was.  Jane leaned to the left, but Maura’s hand shot out.

“Jane, please be still.  If you move, you might fall.  Are you alright, you seemed to be swaying on your feet?” Maura’s voice was like peanut butter on a strawberry jam sandwich… perfect.  Jane closed her eyes and placed a hand on Maura’s shoulder showing her friend she was ok, and she was not hurt, too badly, and her presences was welcome.  In essence Jane was showing Maura she wasn’t pushing her away.  Maura nodded, and then turned as the doors opened and never let go of Jane.  She sat the detective in a rolling chair near a table and turned on the light. 

Jane winced as Maura pulled this way and that on her scalp, and poked, and prodded the lump on her skull.  Then Maura placed her hands, fingers played about her head and neck. 

“Tilt your head forward,” Maua directed, “Now backward,” Jane followed directions and turned her head from side to side, and then Maura’s hands left her head.  It was then that she saw Maura’s hands.  Small amounts of red had colored the doctor’s fingers.  Then before Jane could ask, Maura walked to the sink and scrubbed off her hands.  Jane reached up and felt the area and then brought her fingers back.  Red. 

“Please do not touch the wound Jane.  Oddly enough you do not need stitches, it’s a small cut, but it is still a head wound, and you need to make sure you are awake for,” Maura looked at her watch, “10 hours,” Maura sighed and then walked over to her office and brought out another chair and sat next to Jane.

“I found something,” then both spoke at the same time.  Jane and Maura smiled at one another.  Both hearts skipping a beat, at the mirrored action, and then Jane motioned for Maura to go first. 

“He had died from respiratory paralysis,” Maura raised her hand asking Jane to give her one more moment, “By poisoning,” once more she raised her hand as Jane made to badger her about the how, “From Nerium oleander.”

Maura watched as Jane’s mind worked.  She never had gone to collage the traditional way she had, but her mind was positively brilliant.  It was one of the many reasons she was attracted to Jane, one of the many reasons why she loved Jane.  Yes, she can admit that to herself, but she was still working out how deep that love goes.

“Maura, how do you know it was Oleander?  We don’t usually have Oleander in Massachusetts, right?” Jane asked as her brow furrowed. Maura nodded with a small smile. 

“Hey Maura, are we ok?” Jane asked looking away from Maura.  The question, completely from nowhere, caused Maura to pull back unaware of how to respond, what to do. Maura then walked over to her computer and pulled sites on the Greater Boston Area that have recorded Oleander sites.  She heard Jane roll the chair over to her and then tapped on the base of her own chair with her booted toes.

“The guy was here on visa, and worked for BBC,” Jane said once again stroking her scars, massaging out the stress and anxiety of the situation.  Maura caught the movement, and she looked up at Jane.

“Do they hurt?” Maura asked concerned, medical doctor mode kicked in. Jane clenched her hands into fists, then shook them out.  She shrugged and then looked at the computer. Most of the places were along the coasts.

“Can you tell me where those small pockets of hits are?”  Jane asked as she pointed to a cluster.

“Jane, you didn’t answer me,” Maura said but went clicking away.  Jane smiled sadly as she sat back and watched her friend.  Maura knew Jane well as she printed off the addresses and occupants and owners of the land and homes nearby.  Maura finally looked back when she was finished, eyebrow raised in challenge.  Jane squinted her eyes and she relaxed back into the rolling chair.  She knew this Maura.  She knew the fiery Medical examiner who wanted answers to questions, empirical evidence, and proof to stone cold facts. Jane stood as she saw the doctor glare her down challenging Jane to back down.  This time, just this once, she would let Dr. Isles win this battle of wills.

“You never answered my questions either Maura,” Jane replied and then placed a hand to her friend’s shoulder, gently squeezed, and then walked from her to the doors of the Morgue. 

“I can’t answer your question,” Maura blurted out.  Jane turned around and saw the panic in her eyes, the rigid nature of her posture. Jane turned fully to the room and stood, waiting, giving Maura time.

“I can’t answer your question, because I don’t know how,” Maura confessed still sitting in her chair, but her hands clenched.  Jane went back to her chair and took Maura’s hands in her own larger ones.

“As long as we can talk it out, and have each other’s backs, everything will be ok,” Jane said as she.  She saw the thoughts fly across Maura’s face, she just didn’t know what they meant.  She was plagued, and Jane swallowed and shook Maura’s hand.

“I heard you earlier,” Jane whispered then saw realization dawn on Maura’s face, and then color her cheeks and neck.  Maura slid her hand from Jane’s, cleared her throat, and tried to brush invisible lint off her skirt.

“What did you hear?” Maura asked trying to sound casual.

“You dream about me,” Jane spoke between them.  To Maura it was like dropping a bomb.  It devastated some part of her, but another part of her wondered how Jane felt, how she thought, would she push Maura away. Maura only nodded. Jane took a deep breath and exhaled.  It seemed the hard part was over… Until…

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jane asked. 

“No.”

It was short simple and sharp.  No, in Maura’s tone was like cutting the conversation short like a blade would cut through paper. 

“Oh, ok, I’m sorry,” Jane said back peddling.  It was like a role reversal.  She was supposed to be the non-talker and you must try to pry sentences from her with pliers, but not this time.  Maura had closed off faster than Jane did when Frankie talked about her first dates.  NOPE! Don’t go there.

“Jane,” Maura whispered and then took Jane’s hand.  Jane closed her fingers around Maura’s and squeezed.

“I’m here,” Jane supplied. Maura let a breath push past her lungs. She leaned forward, and Jane took her friends shoulders in her arms.  When Maura seemed to melt into her Jane knew for a fact that this was not over, but it might take time. Jane would wait for her friend to figure it out, and knowing Maura, it won’t take long.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little chapter before the weekend because I was home early this afternoon. Also, I made up the oleander statistics. Dont kill me, please.
> 
> Thanks for all those who stop to read, and many many thanks to those who comments. You all are amazing!

Jane made it through the day.  Her damned head still hurt like hell and she could not let go of the actions of the morning when Maura placed her head in the crook of her neck and fell into her arms.  Her best friend was hurting, and she had no idea how to help her other than to be there for her.  She eventually sorted through her silence and answered Jane’s questions about the oleander poisoning.  It could be incidental or on purpose.  78% of oleander poisoning is accidental when people use the wood as a skewer of sorts at bonfires.  Jane knew her smile grew wide as she remembered bonfires when she and her brothers would skewer marshmallows and roast them over the fires.  However, Angela always made then use wire from Frank’s piping to roast them, or a hanger, so that never happened.  But Jane could see it totally happening to a person who didn’t know any better. 

Jane removed her work clothes and showered off with the case and Maura running through her head.  How did an employee of the Boston Ballet Company end up dead on Maura’s table with Oleander poisoning?  Who was he, what did he do? If she could answer that she could possibly find out the answers to most of her other questions.  When she pulled on a pair of sweats and a grey t-shirt she padded into the kitchen.  She opened her refrigerator and winced.  The milk expired, and then she flipped eggs around and sighed, expired.  Her eyes lit up as she saw bacon and then remembered she had frozen Potatoes, but her shoulders dropped.  Expired. She sighed and closed the door to the fridge and opened the freezer and then closed it.  Nothing good.  She opened the fridge again and eyed the beer but took a Pepsi. She usually didn’t drink on an empty stomach.  It never ended well.

She placed the Pepsi on top of the piano and moved the bench back.  Just as she was about to sit there was a knock on the door.  Her brow furrowed.  She wasn’t expecting any one.  She reached for her gun near the door and looked through the peephole. She blinked and placed the gun back in its spot. She opened the door and saw a small smile, brown-gold eyes, cinnamon blonde hair, and arms laden with bags.  Bags that smelled good. 

Jane smiled and pushed the door open further and in walked the Medical Examiner with a smile.  She went straight to the kitchen and pulled out take away Chinese. Jane grabbed a plate and a fork.  She was too hungry to be patient with chopsticks.  Then Maura paused, and Jane looked up at her friend.  She followed her eye line and went back to eating trying not to seem aware of where her Pepsi can was.  But Maura looked with a furrowed brow, and Jane froze.  She knew that look. Maura looked at her and then she darted to the piano.  For a ME she was fast.  Maura looked down at the sheet music, and the piano. 

“No dust on the keys, nor on the piano, and sheet music that never sits here,” Maura looked at Jane, “Have you been playing?” Maura asked with glee making Jane wince, and sigh. 

“It’s nothing,” Jane said as she walked over to the piano and gathered the papers and her Pepsi can.  Maura placed a soft hand on Jane’s arm to stop her. 

Jane looked to Maura’s hand, and then pulled away slightly to place the items away and went back to her food.  Maura followed and gathered her plate as well and ate silently casting glances between Jane and the piano.  Jane sighed with a growl then tilted her head and she threw her hands in the air looking right into Maura’s curious eyes.

“If I sit on that bench and humiliate myself, will you stop looking at the damned thing?” Jane growled her question. Maura’s eyes lit up and it was all the answer Jane needed. Jane grabbed her soda and went to the bench and sat down. 

She was nervous.  No, that was an understatement, she was fucking nervous.  She rubbed her hands, flexed them and stretched her fingers, bent them this way and that. Then loosened up her shoulders.  She looked at Maura hoping the woman would tell her to stop, but she sat there with that sweet smile, and bright eyes, completely happy and supportive.  Maura gave Jane a small nod of encouragement and Jane only groaned.  She began to play her scales.  Simple, easy, slow, to loosen up her hands.  Then she closed her eyes and slowly began a piece she knew by heart.

She kept her eyes closed as she felt her hands stretch and pull on the keys.  The music filled her, hit a cord in her heart and soul.  She pulled her head sharply to the left as she messed up when her fingers fluttered quickly over the keys on a part she once played like a pro.  She paused as the second part of the song came and then she swayed into the piano, and then jerked her head twice more to the left as she messed up in quick secession but didn’t stop playing. 

Her hands, god they were getting tired, but Maura was there.  Maura wanted to listen.  Maura supported her. When the piece came to a close and the last measured and slow key notes hit the air Jane’s fingers paused on the keys, finally her hands fell to her lap, and her shoulders dropped, and a sigh was let loose from her lungs holding a breath she didn’t realize her held.  After a moment she opened her eyes and looked at Maura.  Jane froze.

Maura felt part of her heart leap into her throat when Jane walked over to the piano.  She thought Jane was just playing with her, joking that she would play for her.  But she did that resigned groan that Jane did when she was about to do something she did not do, and then Maura realized, holy hell she was not kidding. 

Maura stayed rooted to her seat, posture straight, and still afraid to move lest she scare Jane from playing.  When she nodded to Jane she gave her silent support.  Anything she could do, any moment of peace she could share with Jane as she played what ever she wished would be fine with Maura.  With her hands the way they were Maura was not expecting anything more that an advanced form of Twinkle Little Star. 

When Jane’s hands raised up and her fingers stroked the keys in her warm up scales Maura was so proud of her friend.  Jane could play just a little, and she knew the woman missed being able to play the piano.  Scales where fine for Maura, they were perfect, and simple, and knowing about Jane’s hands quite beautiful.  When Jane paused she raised her hands to applaud then Maura saw Jane’s left hand come up and then down.  Her hands held still, frozen in air half way to a clap. 

She watched as Jane’s hand flew over the keys.  She heard the skips, and errors, but it didn’t matter for when Jane leaned into the music, played with her heart, Maura was lost to those sounds her friend coaxed from the instrument.  When Jane’s head twitched to the side when she errored Maura never missed the tick in Jane’s head.  It was only those ticks that Maura knew there was an error.  To Maura it was exquisite, wonderful.  Then Jane opened her eyes.  Maura looked straight at Jane, bore into her eyes, those deep brown black pools.  Nothing came to mind. her mouth spoke before her mind could stop her.

“Beautiful,” Maura whispered.  Her hand flew to her lips.  She didn’t recognize her own voice.  She saw Jane freeze when she looked at her and when she spoke she knew it was too much, maybe even out of line, but it was the truth. Maura cleared her throat and straightened out her skirt.

“Chopin’s Nocturne No.20 in C-sharp,” Maura clasped her hands and looked to Jane with a soft smile on her lips, “Thank you, you play beautifully,” Maura tried to gain her footing from her folly. 

Jane simply watched her, then tilted her head to the side.  It was as if a spell had broken, and Jane remembered what she had been doing and then clasped her hands. She got up and went to the freezer and grabbed two ice cubes, placed them in a paper towel each and held them in each of her hands.  Maura watched all of this.  She watched the way Jane tried to take care of her hands, ice them to take away the ache.  Maura motioned Jane to sit next to her and asked to see her hands. 

Jane gave her hands to Maura and watched as she massaged her forearms first.  Jane was confused and then she felt the tips of her fingers tingle and then she wiggled them.  Maura then looked up at her with a raised eyebrow, a stern look, but a smile nonetheless.  Jane smiled back and let the woman work her magic.  As Maura worked out the muscles in her forearms, and wrists, Jane sighed, content.  She watched the way Maura took care of her, worked her fingers to relieve her own aches.  Jane felt like that Disney chick, what’s was her name? Meg, yeah Meg from Hercules singing that damned song I Won’t Say. Jane smiled ruefully and shook her head.  The motion brought Maura’s eyes up to her own, and then switched arms, and hands.  When Maura was finished, Jane flexed out her hands, and smiled up at her friend thankfully.

“Thanks,” Jane said and then stood to clean up from dinner, but Maura stopped her.

“You played for me, the least I could do is clean up,” Maura said and then walked to the sink, “Oh yes, Frost knew I was coming over and asked me to tell you the victim was indeed employed with the Ballet but he was also a star for a local circus act,” Maura said as she scrubbed the plates.

“Circus? Really?” Jane deadpanned, and Maura smiled.

“Not that kind of circus.  They are more like Cirque du Soleil, one could say they are a farm league into Cirque Du Soleil,” Maura said pleased with the reference that Jane could understand.

“Farm league like baseball minors?” Jane asked, and Maura nodded excitedly, “then why was he employed with the BBC?”

“Turns out that Boston Ballet Company owns one of these Circus acts,” Maura replied, “They are Cirque des étoiles, or translated from French, Circus of the Stars.  They didn’t want to steal from their big sponsor, and it turns out there are many of these little circuses through out the country so that they can be ‘farmed.’” Maura explained, and Jane sighed.

So, was she dealing with the ballet, the circus, or what?  She went to the couch as she got a bottle of wine for Maura, and a beer for her, and sat down in a slump. 

“Do we know what he did?” Jane asked hoping Frost told Maura that much.  Maura shook her head. Then Jane reached for her phone, but Maura stopped her.

“I asked that Frost and Korsak not call you this evening unless it was an emergency,” Maura said.  She didn’t know her thumb stroked Jane’s arm, and when she saw Jane look to her hand she pulled her hand back steadily, as if nothing happened, but her heart pounded.

“I merely wanted to make sure you got the rest you needed after your head injury this morning,” Maura said and then looked at her watch, “Your 10-hour time frame to remain awake will not approach for another hour and 53 minutes,” Maura said slipping into Dr. Isles mode.  Jane leaned back and looked at the ceiling. 

“I am fine Maura, you don’t have to stay with me,” Jane said as she rolled her head over to look at her friend.  However much she was enjoying her time with Maura there was an undercurrent of tension she could not put her finger on and she didn’t like it, but she would not just up and kick her friend out of her apartment.

“It is alright, I plan to stay,” Maura informed the detective.  Jane’s eyes grew wide, then she got up and went to the linin closet and pulled fresh bedding from the closet and then went to her room.  Maura followed her friend.

“What are you doing?” Maura asked.

“I am putting fresh sheets on the bed.  What does it look like I’m doing?” Jane asked.  Her tone was not harsh, not gruff.  She just didn’t know what was so complicated about changing sheets for a guest. Then she took the bedding and threw it near the washer and dryer.  Maura simply clucked her tongue on the roof of her mouth.  She did not approve of the chaos of the disorderly laundry, but she kept that to herself.  However, she did not keep her mouth shut when she saw Jane pull another blanket and pillow from the closet and head back to the couch.

“What are you doing now?” Maura asked.

“I’m sleeping on the couch.  You will take the bed,” Jane said growing tired of the questions.

“Why?” Maura asked, and Jane rubbed her hands.  That’s new.  She rubbed them in annoyance this time, hmm. 

“Because you are a guest and you take the bed.  Come on Maura, just take the damn bed,” Jane said growing more and more exasperated with the woman before her.  Then she saw the quirk in Maura’s head.

“No, I mean why don’t we sleep together?  We have fallen asleep in the same bed before,” Maura surmised.  Maura didn’t want to think about the possibilities, or the implications of these actions, but she was not going to kick Jane out of her bed.

Jane shifted from foot to foot.  Sleeping was private, intimate.  Sure, when they were working on that one case they drifted off to sleep together in her bed, but it wasn’t on purpose.  This time it would be purposeful, knowing and a conscious action to let someone into her space.

“Since…” Jane paused and swallowed, “Since Holt, I find it hard to sleep with people,” Jane said and then blurted, “On purpose.”

“What about you and Casey?” Maura asked.  Jane shifted again and looked anywhere but at Maura.

“Its difficult with anyone, Maur,” Jane confessed.  Maura walked over to the couch and motioned for Jane to sit down. 

“When we fell asleep together did you feel like this?” Maura asked wanting to know the answer, wanting to know if she caused Jane discomfort.  When Jane shook her head Maura smiled outwardly calm, but on the inside her stomach seemed to unravel as if it was tied into knots.

“Then let’s pretend that it is like that night,” Maura said but watched Jane.  She was extremely tense, and Maura could see the pulse jumping in her neck, and her eyes in a far away glare. Maura sighed and moved to stand.  She collected her purse and walked toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Jane asked, and it was that tone, a small unsaid plea, that made Maura turn around.

“I am clearly making you uncomfortable, Jane.  I refuse to make you uncomfortable in your own home.  I will check on you when I get home.  It will be about the time you may sleep, when I walk through my front door.  Good night Jane,” Maura smiled and then opened the door. 

Jane blinked.  She wanted to call out, she wanted to make Maura come back and stay with her.  But she froze. It was when the door clicked behind Maura is when Jane jump started into motion. She flew to the door and flung it open.  Maura was nowhere to be seen.  She ran down the hall, took the stairs two at a time.  Once outside, her shoulders sank.  She was nowhere to be seen.  Jane flew up back to her apartment, locked the door, and dove for her phone.  She shot off a message.

**_Jane: For a ME you sure are fast.  _ **

Jane waited and waited some more.  She grew restless and got ready for bed.  Once able to get under the sheets she turned out her light and put her phone on charge. She stared at the ceiling of the room.  She should have been sleeping with Maura tonight.  The more she thought about it, the more she could process the situation, Jane didn’t feel anxious about sharing her bed with Maura.  She didn’t feel uncomfortable with Maura there.  Honestly Jane felt safe with Maura, or so she thought she would.  She would never know because she was a moron and didn’t open her mouth to call her friend back into her apartment.  After 45 minutes the phone glowed and beeped with a response. Jane reached for it and opened the screen.

**_Maura: I suppose I am.  I am home.  You should be awake because your 10-hour time frame does not end for another 12 minutes._ **

**_Jane: Thank you for that Dr. Smartypants_ **

**_Maura: You are welcome_ **

Jane tapped her phone and bit her lip. She typed out her message and closed her eyes.

**_Jane: You could have stayed_ **

**_Maura: I didn’t want you uncomfortable, Jane_ **

**_Jane: You are always welcome in my home Maura.  Always.  _ **

**_Maura: Thank you_ **

**_Maura: Jane?_ **

**_Jane: Yeah?_ **

**_Maura: I wish I would have stayed_ **

**_Jane: me too, have a good night._ **

**_Maura: Have a good night too, Jane_ **

Jane put her phone on her bed side table convinced she was forgiven, that Maura was alright with what happened.  Maura, on the other side of town, sighed as she sank into a chair with a glass of wine rereading her texts.  Maybe what she did was right.  Maybe leaving was for the best.  But Maura hated living her life by maybe, she hated unsolid findings and conclusions.  She will never know if it was the right or wrong thing, but what she knew was that Jane still welcomed her, and that was all that mattered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maura seems to be falling apart... just slightly

_It was elegant, and warm.  Light poured on one pivotal point and illuminated the woman that was focused in that beam of white-yellow. She sat on a bench before a grand piano and played tones she had never heard before as Maura sat in the front row of an empty auditorium.  Jane.  Maura looked around realizing this was not real, she knew this was a dream, but she leaned back and looked down at her deep burgundy almost black gown, and then focused even more of the raven-haired woman at the piano.  Black, classic spaghetti dress clung to Jane’s frame.  Her arms were free and her hands… OH!  They were whole, and unscarred.  They were fast and fluttering on those ivory keys._

_She knew of the concept of Lucid dreaming but never had the pleasure of partaking of this activity. Yet the woman let her body and mind connect, decision made to let actions happen, and Maura felt her body lift from her seat and walk to the side of the stage. She slowly, quietly walked to the woman on the bench.  She watched shoulders ripple and shift when Jane’s hands and arms played the great instrument.  Maura smiled warmly at the woman as she observed Jane shift on the bench and make a little bit of space for Maura to sit beside her.  Maura eased on to the bench and looked to Jane’s face._

_Jane’s smile was soft, and sublime.  Her eyes were dark in color but bright in soul.  When Jane chanced a glance to Maura and their eyes locked momentarily there was a spark.  Yes, a spark.  As if two souls ignited.  Maura leaned forward, her chest brushed Jane’s arms when Maura’s eyes slid to Jane’s lips.  Not once was that warm, soft smile gone from Jane’s lips.  Closer and closer, Maura leaned into the woman, listening to the music, feeling the woman move._

_“I love you,” Jane’s husky voice ripped through the air.  Maura pulled back, eyes wide._

_“Jane, I…”_

Maura’s eye sprang open when her damned phone rang.  She reached over and blindly answered. She confirmed she would arrive at the destination.  She plopped back into her pillows and looked around her room, the dream fresh in her memory. She swallowed and rolled out of bed toward the shower.  She will analyze this further later… if she remembered.

OOOoooOOOooo

Jane was there, in the middle of a beach bonfire, gone wrong.  Blue gloves adorned her hands, a grey hoodie and navy-blue sweats clothed her body.  Her hair was tied back into a ponytail.  She looked back to the firepit.  She lifted one of the branches, then placed it back into the charred pile, and motioned for a Crime scene tech.

“Get some of the branches would ya?” she asked, and the tech began bagging and tagging.  She looked at the woman laid out on her back, her lips blue, and her eyes wide in horror.  Jane kneeled next to her and looked at her neck.  Red scratches.  Then she looked to the woman’s hands and saw build up under her nails.  Jane sighed, and she looked around.  A smile grew when she caught a flash of a certain Doctor coming onto the crime scene, but her brow furrowed slightly.

“Late night?” Jane joked as she pointed to the woman’s clothes.  Maura was not in her regular heels, or expensive skirts.  She was in a plain pair of yoga pants, a black sweatshirt, and running shoes.  Her wet hair was thrown into a messy bun, and Jane could not tear her eyes from her. 

“Not really. I had issues while sleeping,” Maura responding not wanting to lie.  Jane didn’t miss the ‘while’ part of that statement. But Maura cut her off.

“I need to get her to the Morgue.  I want to run the smoke in her lungs against the oleander from Caro,” Maura said as she took the temp, and prepped the body for transport.

“Do you think its oleander again?” Jane asked, and then looked into Maura’s eyes.  She noted the posture. And then threw her hands into the air.  Evidently the doctor wasn’t in the mood again.

“I know, I know, you don’t like to guess,” Jane said and then moved as the team lifted the body and took the corpse away.  She reached out for Maura’s arm.  Just a light friendly touch.  Something she would do for Frost or Korsak, maybe. “Are you ok?” Jane asked as she moved her body to look into Maura’s eyes.

“I am tired, sleep has not been a restful as it usually has been,” Maura confessed.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Jane asked as she finally removed her hand from Maura’s arm.  Maura closed her eyes, she appeared to look like she was thinking, but she simply needed to grasp her thoughts, and hold them to her chest.  Filter her feelings, and personal views, and let the scientific Dr. Google, come forth.

“No, I’m alright, but if you could get coffee on the way to the lab I would be grateful,” Maura smiled as she attempted to bypass any more of Jane’s questions.  She was relieved when Jane nodded and gave her that smile.  That same smile she saw in her dream.  She looked down to Jane’s hands and saw the scars, saw the reality of this moment.  She pulled the left hand to her.

“How do they feel after yesterday?” Maura asked keeping the question vague, for which Jane was appreciative.

“Fine, sore, but fine,” the detective watched the blonde.

“It may take a long time to work them like that without pain Jane,” whispered Maura as she examined the left then the right hand intentionally keeping her voice low.  Jane pulled her hand from Maura’s grasp.

“Yeah, maybe, or I can stop,” Jane said with a shrug.

“No,” Maura said loudly and then looked around and motioned with her head for Jane to follow, “I loved hearing you play.  Please don’t stop.  It also seemed to make you so happy,” Maura spoke while looking down at her feet navigating the sand as if it will swallow her up.  Jane walked her to her car but said nothing.  Finally, their eyes caught.  Time and space seemed infinite.  Time stretched thin, too short, and the space between them seemed too far.  Jane blinked and broke their spell.

“Ill be by for the lab results,” Jane said and shut the door on the doctor’s car, but she knocked. And the window came down. “If you had to guess…?”

“Jane, I thought…” Maura began and then watched Jane’s mischievous eyes glimmer and that cocky smirk slip across her lips as the detective strolled away.  Maura found herself amused watching the woman walk away, silently thanking her for making her smile.

OOOoooOOOooo

Jane walked into the BPD homicide bullpen and looked for her partner.  His desk was empty, but she saw Korsak with an impish smile on his face while doing some of his paperwork and following up on any lead the body could give them with out the results from Maura’s report.  No name, no ID, nothing, just like the other Vic.  She walked to her old partner and looked down.

“What’s so funny?” Jane asked and then Vince looked up, smile never leaving his face.

“Sent the new guy to get the report from the Doc,” Korsak laughed loudly as Jane quirked a smile but still rolled her eyes. 

“We can’t keep calling the new guy Vince,” she threw over her shoulder as she walked to the morgue to save her partner. She only heard Vince Korsak’s laughter ring through the bullpen reaching her ears all the way in the elevator.

When the doors opened she strode to the morgue and came to a halt.  Blinking, holding Maura’s coffee, and seeing Maura’s hands around Frosts midsection holding his hand. Her grin grew almost Cheshire like.  Maura had Frost’s hand wrist deep in a body pushing around his organs.  Jane almost laughed out loud when Frost’s body moved forward hinging at the hips, and his other hand went to his lips.  Then when he could no longer take it he sprinted to the sink and released his guts into the trough.

“Good job, Detective Frost.  You lasted longer than last week?” Maura praised the young man as he wiped at his mouth and sprayed down the sink.  Jane simply smiled. She took a breath in and walked to Maura and nudged her arm with the coffee in her hand.  Twin smiles watched the Detective cleaning up his mess.  When Frost turned around and saw Jane his head lowered in shame as he tried to make a retreat for the doors.

“How long was it Frost?” Jane asked and froze Frost to the floor. 

“14 minutes,” Maura said with pride beaming at the detective.  Frost turned around but could not make eye contact.  Jane watched his posture, and his darker skin pale at the number.  He stood there as if braced to for the jokes.

“I’m impressed.  Keep it up Frost,” Jane said and then Barry looked right at her, “Now I know you can make it through a crime scene.  Soon you can help with the body.  It will only be a matter of time,” Jane spoke to her friend and raised her own cup of coffee to her lips looking at him.  For a moment he simply watched Jane and then his shoulders and face melted as a tentative smile pulled at his lips.  He motioned for the door and made his exit.  Jane watched her partner leave and smiled.

“You did a good thing Jane,” Maura said to Jane as she returned to the other body on the table.  Maura reached for a file then stood over the body of the girl from the beach.

“Na, all he needs is time,” Jane excused and waved off the compliment.  Maura simply looked at the detective. Jane felt her skin crawl, but not in an unpleasant way.  She looked back at Maura. She saw the darker circles under her eyes, and the pale pallor of her cheeks.  Jane wasn’t thinking, she wasn’t even sure when it happened but the back index finger of her left hand slipped up under Maura’s eyes, and tenderly caressed the flesh beneath her left eye.

Maura felt her lungs seize to function, and her flesh heat at the sensation. Jane looked her over.  Her gaze slipped from Maura’s eyes, to the space beneath them, and then her lips.  Maura didn’t move.  She took mental inventory of all the sensations Jane was eliciting from her.  Finally, after time had seemed to stretch for too long the logical part of Maura’s brain moved her body.  She reached up to Jane’s hand and clasped it, held it to her cheek, then as logic pumped more and more firmly through her brain and actions she let Jane’s hand fall as she turned, lifted her coffee to her lips and walked toward her office with the young woman’s case folder.  She sat down and fired up her laptop as Jane sat in the red chair watching her.  Maura worked, as was her way when she couldn’t figure something out.

Jane sat watching Maura.  The way she moved, the way her brow furrowed on a fact and then pick up the file to double check the accuracy.  She observed the way her hand lightly grasped her coffee cup and the way her lips met the lip of the cup, tasting.  Jane sighed as she closed her eyes and slouched in the hard chair.  She began to rub her scars. She thought about last night, the way Maura looked at her as she played the piano.  She saw something there, that was different from Maura’s usual array of emotions, or expressions. Then just now, touching Maura just moment ago, what the hell was she thinking?  All Jane wanted to do was comfort her friend.  Sooth her fears if she had them, or even make the woman feel better, safe.

“Yes,” Maura spoke suddenly but calmly, “She had inhaled the oleander smoke, and then suffocated,” Maura spoke and handed the file out to Jane.  Jane leapt from her chair and took the manila folder.  She flipped through the cause of death, all the other logistics and then her eyes finally fell on her name. Ava Crowe.  Jane sighed, closed the file and looked to her friend.  Maura still tapped away at the keys.  Jane walked to the desk and placed her fingers on the back of the laptop pushing the screen slowly closed.  The screen paused half way down, not turning off, so the work would not be lost but forcing Maura to look at her.

“Go home, and get some sleep,” Jane rasped softly.  She didn’t want to push Maura.  She was very much like Jane was, just nicer about it.  If you pushed Maura too far she would shut you out.  She would avoid you whereas Jane would rant and rave, and verbally accost the person nagging, and getting into her business. Proof of that was the way she interacted with her mother.  Jane sometimes wished that Maura would rant and rave. Maura’s eyes narrowed.  Jane pulled back her hand and swallowed, hands lifted in surrender.

“Maura I…” Jane tried to explain but was cut short.

“You want to tell me to sleep when you NEVER sleep when you are on a lead,” Maura argued lowly.  The small growl in her voice made Jane’s blood run cold.  Maura stood slowly and walked toward Jane, and then brushed past her toward the coat rack, and retrieved her jacket and slipped it on. Maura looked back to Jane as she grabbed her purse and keys.

“Where are you going?” Jane walked after Maura trying to keep up but turned and snatched the file from Maura’s desk and hurried to catch up.  Maura hit the button to ground level parking garage.  Jane watched, eyes flickering to the woman and the buttons illuminating on the wall.

“Maur…” Jane began again, but Maura sighed, and then placed a hand on Jane’s arm.

“I’m going home,” Maura said softly taking the edge out of her voice.  Jane’s shoulders dropped, and a relieved smile beamed down at Maura.  Jane reached out and shook Maura’s hand. 

“Good, thank you,” Jane whispered then shook Maura’s hand.  Maura turned tired eyes to her friend and Jane spoke, “Ill stop by later to see how you are.”

“That won’t be necessary Jane,” Maura rebutted, but Jane shook her hand firmly and Maura sighed, then nodded.

“Thank you,” Jane said to the woman.  Maura nodded once again and then stepped from the elevator.  Jane watched her walk to her car as the doors shut on her.  She punched the button for the homicide bullpen floor.

She came out of that elevator like a hurricane.  Hurricane Jane. 

“We got a name,” Jane smirked as she dropped the folder on Frost’s desk.  He began to type into his computer, Korsak stood next to her, and they did what they do best.  Connect the dots.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maura is human guys. She has been through alot, and loving Jane, and feeling like she cant have her is taking a toll.
> 
> Please dont get used to the frequency of these updates. Im on too much Caffeine and woke up way too late in the day.

Maura threw herself onto her bed still dressed in her clothes.  The only thing she had remembered to remove were her shoes.  She didn’t even remember falling asleep, darkness over took her world as soon as she hit the mattress.  It was dark when her body scrambled from her bed, and she curled into a corner sobbing and frantic.  She jumped when Angela slammed her door open.  She was a huddled mass of Maura in the corner whimpering like a little girl. Once the older woman got over the initial shock she slid her back down the wall and pulled the doctor into her arms.  Maura fell into the woman’s space and lay her head on Angela’s thighs finding her center with each stroke of her hair and every deep breath she inhaled.

“Where is Jane?” Maura finally asked with a broken voice. 

“I took her and the guys coffee before I shut down the shop for the evening in the Homicide Bullpen,” Angela replied.  Maura shut her eyes against the sound of Angela’s voice.  It wasn’t like Jane’s, but it was close.  There was a raspy no hold bared honestly to their voices.  Maybe its because they both never lied to her and both women shared that vocal rasp... to an extent. 

“She is safe,” Maura sighed and then rolled her body slightly and looked up into Angela’s eyes. She saw fear and noticed the woman go tense.  Maura sat up and took Angela’s hands.

“No, No, you said Jane was ok remember,” Maura searched Angela’s eyes and the woman nodded then focused on her.

“Then why would you say that scaring a mother like that?” Angela let a sigh escape lightly slapping Maura with the back of one of her hands then brush an errant tear that slipped from her eyes.

“Angela,” Maura put her back to the same wall and tilted her head back, “I have been having dreams,” Maura began.  Angela’s hand slid over to Maura’s.

“From what I came in on it sounded like a nightmare,” Angela shook Maura’s hand bringing hazel eyes to hers, “She is ok.  I saw her before I left.  Now tell me why I came home and heard you screaming up here, and then found you in a corner huddled like Jane when she used to have nightmares,” Angela ordered the young woman only as a mother could.  Maura closed her eyes.  She was not ready for Angela to know this, or anyone for that matter.  

“These dreams…,” Angela began hoping the doctor would fill in the blanks.  After a few moments she found that Maura would be tight lipped. So as any mother would, she used all her tools to her advantage.  Maura could not lie.

“Is Janie in your dreams?” Angela whispered.  She felt the woman beside her tense and then sigh.

“You Rizzoli’s need to stop using my inability to lie against me,” Maura grumbled. 

“Jane is the only one who really does it, Maura. She would have my head knowing I’m doing to you,” Angela smiled drawling a smile from Maura’s lips.

“She is rather protective, isn’t she?’ Maura grinned standing up and held her hand down for the other to help her up, “Lets get a drink.  We might need one,” Maura said as she helped the other woman from the floor.  Angela took her hand gladly.

“Thank God.  My back was beginning to kill me,” Angle walked behind Maura, “I’m rather old to be doing this for grown women, but if I have grandbabies…. It would be nice,” Angela said watching the doctor. 

She noticed many things.  She was not stupid, and most of her meddling yielded magnificent results, especially with Jane and Maura.  Maura was peculiar to say the least.  She had the love of her life, lost the love of her life, but she never looked at him the way she looked at her Jane.  Same way with Jane, and Casey.  She loved that boy, but something was not quite right.  In Angela’s opinion Jane would be settling for Casey.  She deserved Maura.  At first the idea of her daughter, her oldest, her pride and joy being a lesbian gave her pause.  However, Jane, to her knowledge, has never been with another woman.  But with all her pushing, her meddling, and her set ups, Angela felt Maura was more her child than any of those other suitors. 

She would accept this relationship, and fight tooth and nail for their happiness.  The quirky doctor wormed her may not only in to Jane’s heart, but into Angela’s as well.  She simply loved the woman like her own, therefore she claimed Maura as part of her brood.  She never told her that though.  She wasn’t sure how to tell Maura something so simple and true yet fundamentally shifting and how it would affect her.  Living with Maura, Angela picked up on a lot of things, like Maura’s unlimited capacity to love, but not knowing how to be loved in return, or what to do with said love.  She also knew that the two women would balk and flounder and tiptoe around the revelation.  Just like they were doing now.

They sat in the high chairs at the island counter in the kitchen with a bottle of whiskey before them.  Angela raised an eye brow as Maura poured at least three fingers in their tumblers each.

“Are you alright, Hon?” Angel asked.  Maura was a wine woman, whiskey was a large shift from the reddish blonde woman’s norm.

“Yes,” Maura answered and then Angela saw Maura nonchalantly rub the inside of her arm scratching a small area trying to make Angela not notice.

“You haven’t answered my question from before.  Don’t think I haven’t noticed that,” Angela said as she took a tiny sip of the hard alcohol.  When the liquor hit her lips and tongue she blinked and took a slightly larger sip.  It was good, better than any she had ever had.  She spun the bottle, she inwardly scoffed.  It was a 200$ bottle of whiskey, of course it was good.

“Yes,” Maura said flatly bringing Angela back to the conversation. 

“Tell me about them, dear,” Angela said keeping her space from Maura, letting the woman look into space, collecting her thoughts.

“I don’t think I can,” Maura whispered as her mind flashed to her dreams.

 Every single one of them played like it was on a film reel in her mind.  The good, bad, erotic, horrific, the ones where Jane told her she loved her.  They flew across her mind.  Her thoughts where broken when a tissue was placed in her hand.  Angela looked at her with those motherly eyes and swept Maura’s messy hair from her face and waited.  Maura finally felt the chill on her cheek and dabbled at her tear streaked face and then her eyes.

“Powerful, aren’t they?” Angela asked.

“What?” Maura asked taking a sip of her drink and winced slightly.  Angela winced for her.  It was a big sip.

“Dreams, my dear,” Angela slowly placed a hand on Maura’s back, “I dream all the time, mostly about Jane.  She is so reckless.  I dream uniformed men come to my door, and tell me she is gone,” Angela confided.  Maura let a ball of air push from her and her hand went to her chest as one of her dreams was shared by another.  She couldn’t breathe, her lips were moving, but she couldn’t hear her own words, and a rush of blood filled her ears.

“I cant, I cant, I cant,” Angela pulled Maura too her as she broke speaking those words over and over.  It seemed that they shared at least one fear.  Soon Maura regained her breath.

“Do you love my daughter?” Angela asked and felt the woman in her arms tense and sit up straight looking from Angela, but Angela would not let her retreat, “No, look at me Maura,” Angela said as she cupped Maura’s chin with her fingers and pulled her face to see Angela.  Angela let her grasp release Maura’s chin as their eyes held. 

“It is ok,” Angela said softly, and Maura gasped as she looked at Angela.  She looked for any of the facial tics, or muscle tension to see a lie, judgement, or emotion.  What she saw was the Rizzoli matriarch telling her she could love Jane.  It would be accepted, and allowed, and she would be ok with them.

“Yes,” Maura whispered and then sighed, a huge weight off her chest and chuckled as Angela clapped her on her back.

“Well this is cause for a drink, lets toast,” Angela grinned as she filled up their tumblers halfway each, Maura almost protested, but Angela shushed her, “Here’s to dreams, the good the bad, the terrifying, and the hope that some never come true, some stay dreams, and some become a reality.” 

Their classes clinked and they both took deep soothing sips.  Maura sighed and relaxed against the island and rested her arm on the counter top and leaned her head on her hand looking at Angela.

“I dreamed she was pinned down against a table by her hands with my own scalpels, in my morgue, and all I could do was watched as she was tortured.  Then he came after me,” Maura said firmly getting it out.  She watched as Angela paled and then looked at her, lips open, breathing, steady but shallow, and her eyes wide open in horror.

“I’m calling Jane,” Angela said as she pulled out her phone.  Maura let her.  She didn’t have the energy to stop the stubborn woman or try to talk sense into her.  As Angela hung up with Jane, questions answered, and could she spend the night tonight in the guesthouse.  She pulled the mom card and told her she missed her daughter and needed to make sure she was safe.  Something just told her to be there.  Jane fell for it, naturally, with some banter back and forth, naturally, but Angela looked to Maura.

“She will stay here in your guest room,” Angela stated with no room for argument.  Maura nodded, and released a sigh. 

“Thank you,” Maura said, “After that episode I would really like to see her, make sure she is alright,” Maura confessed but Angela didn’t miss the way she bit her lower lip.

“You are in love with my daughter, had a dream where she was brutalized, of course you want to see her, and after hearing that dream I want to see my kid too,” Angela smiled and knocked her shoulder with Maura’s chair then took a sip. 

“I never said I was in love with her, Angela,” Maura said sitting up her eyes narrowing.

“You didn’t have to, Honey.  You didn’t have to,” Angela took another sip and then took a chance, “Are all the dreams like this one?  Are they nightmares?”

Maura smiled softly as she remembered the dream from that morning.  The way Jane leaned into her, whispered she loved her while playing the piano just for her.  It was perfect, it was very definition of perfection for Maura.  Jane playing a piano, and loving her, only her, in love with her.

“No, sometimes they are very sweet,” Maura said and then looked at Angela, “She played the piano last night.  I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that, but when she played it was bliss, just wonderful.  I heard from you and Frankie she was good, but I just thought it would have been familial pride.  But no, she is amazing, even with limited mobility in her hands,” Maura rambled, but Angela just listened.  She learned a long time ago that if you let Maura talk, sometimes she will just spill out her entire world to you, trust you.

“Well, when I got home, got to bed it took some time to get to sleep, but when I finally got to sleep this dream she was playing the piano in an empty auditorium, just for me,” Maura smiled, she would keep the rest of the dream to herself. 

“I have a moron for a child Maura,” Angela said chuckling when Maura opened her mouth to invalidate Angela’s remark, but Angela stopped her, “but my moron, loveable, moron Jane, will figure it out.  Please be patient.” 

With those words Angela stood, and poured the rest of her drink into Maura’s glass.  Maura stared with wide eyes and it took her a few moments but when Angela turned the door knob on the doors to take her to the guest house Maura blurted out.

“What do you mean she will figure it out?” Maura almost stood on the lower rungs of the chair trying to go after Angela.

“I have a suspicion you aren’t the only one in this Maura,” Angela grinned mischievously.

“No, Angela do not interfere,” Maura pointed at the woman who smiled brightly, “No Angela do not…” then the door opened.  Angela and Maura looked over to the front door and there stood Jane.

“Finally, she drove you nuts enough to yell at her,” Jane joked.  But she saw Maura’s face, and then looked at her mother’s smile.  Jane saw her mother traverse the space and take her in her arms.

“Ma, you ok?  What’s wrong?” Jane asked as she let her mother clutch Jane to her frame.  Angela shook her head and then pulled back and grasped Jane’s cheeks with her palms looking in to her daughter’s eyes.

“Nothing Jane, I just needed to see you,” Angela walked away and toward the doors.

“Ma, I thought I was staying with you,” Jane shouted.

“Maura convinced me to let you stay here,” Angela smiled to Maura and then Jane shifted her gaze to Maura who had not stopped looking at her.  She shifted from foot to foot and placed a hand on her hip anxious.  Angela smiled and made her exit.

Maura slowly stood leaving her drink on the counter top and walked slowly to Jane.  She never paused, she never stopped, but it wasn’t rushed, and it wasn’t a collision.  It was a meeting of two bodies as Maura approached Jane, and Jane never hesitated. Arms went around each woman and it was Jane that placed a kiss on Maura’s head and rocked them back and forth.  Maura hung on for dear life.  She was there, in her arms.  She was safe, and sound, and physically undamaged.

“Are you ok? Was it the dreams again?” Jane asked.  Maura pulled back enough to look into Jane’s deep dark eyes and she tilted her head.  Jane smiled softly.

“I know you Maur.  I know when you can’t sleep, and I know when something is bothering you.  You said you have been having dreams,” Jane’s smile dropped at the thought of talking about dreams where she was a key player.  She wasn’t sure if she could handle anything BIG, but she would try for Maura.  Maura let her go and walked back to the island to her drink.  She saw Jane lift her eyebrow and pour half her drink into Angela’s left tumbler.  Jane nodded and took a sip, winced and hummed her appreciation of the drink.  She spun the bottle to see the label.  Daughter like mother, Maura thought.

“Yes,” Maura answered and then took a deep sip from her glass and sighed, “It was a nightmare.  Your mother heard me screaming and raced up the stairs to find me in the corner of my bedroom,” Maura told the truth.  Jane’s arms came around her shoulder and pulled her to her.  Maura fell in to the pull and sighed.

“What else? Ma would not have called if it was nothing,” Jane said rubbing small circles in Maura’s shoulder only to feel a loss when Maura pulled away from her and sat straight up.

“I don’t know if I can…” Maura began but Jane grasped her hand.  She held it, and Maura could feel the warmth in her skin and she closed her eyes.  Jane was there, it was only a dream.  She opened her eyes and stared unfocused into the space.

“I dreamed you were pinned down against my morgue table by your hands with my own scalpels, and all I could do was watch as he tortured you.  Then he came after me,” Maura relived the dream again and again. She could taste the blood on her tongue and feel the blast of pain as she was struck across her cheek.  She felt her heart rip from her chest as she sat tied to another table and watched the life in Jane’s eyes slip away as she looked over to Maura.

“Jane, He… I…” Maura felt her breathing skip, jump, and air would not fill her lungs.  She felt hands on her and she slapped at them as she saw those dead eyes in her mind bore into hers.  She fought hands clutching at her, trying to take her hands and pin her.  Then it happened, something unexpected and absolutely extraordinary.

Something brushed against her lips, soft and tasted faintly of mint Chapstick. Too soon it was gone but Maura sighed into the clutch, and closed her eyes, she leaned back and felt the heat of Jane’s body behind her holding her, but what took her from her broken mental state where the words in her ear as she began to come to.

“I’m here, its ok sweetheart, I’m here, Love,” Jane’s whispered words soothed her broken thoughts, and ripped her soul apart only to sow it back together with those warm, whispered endearments. Maura turned her head and pulled away slightly to look at Jane.  Her eyes wide, her lips separate.

“Did you just kiss me?” Maura asked lowly as if someone might hear.  She saw Jane reel back her comfort like a fisherman would pull back his hook from the water.  Maura reached out for Jane’s arm, placing her palm on her forearm. 

“You were freaking out.  You wouldn’t let me help you, and you kept swatting away my hands,” Jane replied defensively.   Maura nodded.

“So, you kissed me?” Maura asked once more.  Jane rubbed a hand to the back of her neck and Maura watched as Jane fell further and further away. Maura turned and then pulled Jane’s arms back around her.  Jane at first didn’t respond, unsure.  Maura held her breath and waited.  Finally, Jane’s arms tightened about her, held her.

“Thank you,” Maura whispered.  Jane nodded. Her head against her ear.

“Its ok, I’m here, everything will be ok,” Jane felt the need to tell the woman in her arms it was ok.  She was going to make it ok.

OOOooooOOOooo

Later that night Jane was woken up by a beep from her phone.  She looked at the display. Ava Crowe had a brother.  Detective Darren Crowe.  She thanked Frost and told him to get some sleep.  She put the phone on the bedside table to keep charging.  She lay back against her pillows. Shit, Crowe’s sister is dead, and she has to tell him.  Shit, shit, shit, double shit.

She looked to her left.  There was a shift, and a sigh.  Maura didn’t tell Jane where she was going to sleep.  They went about their evening rituals of showers, and brushing teeth. Jane went to check on Maura once more.  Maura would not let her go.  They lay side by side, the same way they did when Jane reached out for Maura the night Jane found out Hoyt escaped the first time. Maura turned on her side and curled into Jane.  It broke Jane’s heart.  She slipped her arm under Maura’s shoulders and held Maura to her.  Maura’s head rest on her chest.  Maura commented about how strong Jane’s heart beat was.  Jane chucked a thank you but before she knew it her friend was asleep listening to her heart.  Jane lay there, long into the night thinking of Maura, their friendship, the dreams. Finally, she slipped to sleep. Then the message came through.

When she looked at Maura who eased away from Jane’s hot body in the night Jane felt her whole-body shift and settle.  She kissed her earlier, and she would never apologize.  She reached out to touch the woman, feel her warmth on her back through her pajama shirt. Jane shifted to her side and stared at Maura’s back never pulling her palm away from Maura.

How could Jane tell Maura she dreamed about her too?


	6. Chapter 6

Jane hung back, out of the way as she followed Korsak to Cavanaugh’s office. Everyone agreed that Vince would be the one to talk to Crowe. Crowe hated Rizzoli and if it came from Korsak it might be a better blow, no matter how earthshattering it will be, you never want someone you despise to tell you your family member is dead.  Cavanaugh took one glance at Jane and to Jane it was license to do anything she could to solve this case.  Their supervisor sighed when they finished with what they had so far on the case and told them not to worry.  He stood tall and firm and told Jane to leave.  He and Korsak would break it to the detective.  Jane walked to her desk and sat down, feet on the surface and spaced out thinking of the case.

How were they connected?  Why was oleander used?  Was it a coincidence?  Jane fired up her computer.  She was not as efficient as Frost, but she can run a good name search like the rest of them and tried to connect Ava Crowe to Boston Ballet Company.  It didn’t take Jane long.  Ava was a principal for the BBC. 

“Shit,” Jane murmured as she looked at their website, and their pictures.  She was a beautiful girl.  Light-dark, not quite olive.  Her skin was almost the color of coffee with milk and flawless.  She searched the pictures and saw her photographed in many productions, and then ran the same search for the other vic, Caro Riva.

“Oh my god,” Jane whispered as she looked at the announcement in the paper.  How did they not see this?  They were to be married.  Caro was on loan from the Circus, the big one, Cirque du Soliel, to work with strength and conditioning for a summer clinic.  Then they fell in love.  He was featured to become her newest partner in a rendition of Carmen.  According to the article he would bring a strength to one of the characters they have yet to experiment with.  If she found this much, she wondered what Frost found.

“If you need to go I can get you tickets,” a voice came from her right.  Jane jumped holding her hand to her throat.  When she looked over to find the doctor she smiled.  The circles under her eyes were less, and the pallor of her skin was back to normal and the glimmer in her eyes had returned. 

“You slept well?” Jane asked as she turned to the screen and then emailed the link to Frost, then turned to Maura and stood.  She motioned for Maura to walk with her.

“Yes, thank you,” Maura said softly, and when they reached the elevator she looked at Jane and looked into her eyes, “But I see you did not,” Maura said as they walked into the elevator.  Jane tilted her head and Maura reached up and touched tentatively at the slight swelling under her eyes.  Jane grasped Maura’s hand and brought it down and felt her lips pull at a slight smile.

“I am used to dreams, Maur.  Good ones, bad ones…” Jane responded with a small shrug and a slight smile.  The doors opened to the lobby where they walked to the coffee shop.  Angela watched them walk together.

Angela noticed the way they swayed into each other as they walked, lightly brush against each other.  Then Maura caught her gaze as Angela watched with a glimmer of mischief in her eyes.  Maura immediately stopped feet rooted to the floor as she watched Angela Rizzoli shift into matchmaker mode.  Jane looked to her side but then around surprised that her friend was no longer there.  She turned around and saw the fear on Maura’s face, then looked at her mother.  Jane smiled and walked back to Maura.

“She told you she was gonna set you up with someone didn’t she?” Jane grinned down at her friend, “I know that look of fear. I wear it at least three times a week when Ma tries to set me up.  Come on, I got your back,” Jane said as she tugged on Maura’s arm toward the counter to order coffee.

Maura couldn’t tear her eyes from Angela.  She went through her order, standing next to Jane.  Listened to Jane and Angela bicker back and forth about grandbabies, and getting married, but Angela would always slide a look to Maura.  It made the doctor swallow and shift on her feet.  She was waiting for the proverbial ball to drop.  But it never did.  Angela said nothing about their conversation.  She said nothing untoward, she didn’t meddle, or set up.  She simply did her job. 

“Jane, I think your mother frightens me a little,” Maura confessed as they took the elevator to the morgue.  Jane laughed heartily.

“Welcome to the family.  You are truly a Rizzoli when Ma can make you scared with just a look,” Jane continued to laugh. Maura sighed and pushed Jane playfully with a smile and went to work. 

“You mentioned tickets,” Jane said as she sipped her coffee.

“Yes, I love the ballet.  The fluidity of the human body in motion, the beauty and grace.  It is as if the body can become water in some productions,” Maura sipped her coffee and looked up from her report to Jane, “Truly amazing.”

“You love the ballet that much huh?” Jane asked as she smiled.  She loved getting to know little snippets of Maura’s world.  When Maura nodded with an excited smile Jane decided it might be nice to go to the ballet with Maura. Not just a case, or a reason other than Maura was the reason.  Spending time with the woman before her that seemed to always bring out the best in her.

“If we go do I have to wear a dress?” Jane asked cheekily as she shifted her hip and bumped the doctor.

“Depends?” Maura said with a smirk.

“On what?” Jane narrowed her eyes.

“If you wore a tux instead,” Maura deadpanned.  Jane’s eyes narrowed.

“Really?” Jane replied, in that Jane way that exuded disbelief and yet this was Maura, and you could never be quite sure.  Maura simply stared her with those wide hazel eyes and Jane sighed and looked away, resolute in that she would have to dresws up for this event.  No blazer or red sox jerseys, not like she was going to wear one any ways.

“I am joking Jane,” Maura smiled as she reached out for Jane, “But it is more acceptable for one to dress up.  You would look splendid in a tux or a dress, or even a suit.  Of that I am sure,” Maura told her friend and turned around and looked at another dead body that came in overnight, leaving Jane to look after her. 

“Would…” Jane was cut off when Frost came through the door.

“Crowe took it bad,” he blurted out but stopped as Jane looked at him.  Why was it always him?  Why was he always the one to walk in on a ‘moment’ between these two women? Jane stood straight, slipped a hand in her pocket and moved so she can look at Maura and Frost at the same time all the while taking a sip from her cup.  Maura looked over to her and Jane’s eyes softened. She nodded to Ava Crowe laying on the stainless steel table waiting for the final procedures and body identification so they can release the body.

“She is Detective Darren Crowe’s little sister,” Jane told Maura.  Maura’s eyes shot open, and she looked down to Ava’s face.  She tried to find the similarities.

“Similar features about the lips, and eyes,” Maura stated looking at the woman closely.  Frost stayed his close distance from the body, but Maura looked up to him.  She smiled that sweet warm smile.  Jane knew that smile, she was caught by it many times.  Frost walked closer and eyed Jane.

“See right here,” Maura said as she touched the skin about the eyes lightly with her gloved hand.  Frost nodded but didnt come closer.  Jane watched, not speaking just sipping.  This was already progress. Almost every dead body made Frost react… violently.  Jane was proud.

Frost stepped forward, closer and then looked down at the woman.  Frost took in the sight of her lips, her cheeks, and the set of her eyes.

“She looks like him,” he said softly, then he heard Jane move.  He remembered she was there and that he was being watched.

“How do you feel buddy?” she asked her partner.  Frost looked down at the body and nodded.

“I’m ok,” he said and then smiled slightly relieved.

“Excellent, put these on,” Maura said as she handed him blue latex gloves.

“Why?” he said as he began to put his hands in the gloves.

“So, you can touch her,” Maura deadpanned.  Frost looked down and it was then that he lurched forward and ran to the sink.  Maura looked at Jane and then shrugged.

“So, you can look but not touch,” Jane said observing Frost.  He shook his head.

“I didn’t know that she wanted me to do that, maybe…” he stopped talking.  Jane placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You have come along way, you are working very hard.  This may take a while.  No matter what you are on my team,” Jane said, and something changed in Frost.  His eyes set, determined, and he turned around looked at the woman on the table, and walked to the body.  He reached out, and delicately, ever so softly brushed the hair at her temple, and then slipped his fingers over her cheeks.  He blinked and backed off from the body.

“Very good Detective Frost,” Maura said pride beaming down upon him from her smile.  He looked over to Jane and she nodded her agreement. He smiled and took off his gloves and tossed them into the trash and stood from the body.

“Korsak told Crowe the body is down here, and I wanted you to know he would be here,” he looked at his watch, “In about 15, just in case you didn’t want to be here,” Frost said to Jane and Jane nodded.

“Give me a few ok, and I’ll meet you at your desk.  I found some stuff this morning and I wonder if you found it before I did because you are better at computer digging than I am,” Jane smiled at her partner and he stood prouder at the compliment.  He nodded and turned from the women and went back to Homicide floor. Jane turned around.

“Would you like to go to the ballet?” Jane blurted before anyone else walked in on them.  Maura blinked but smiled and nodded.

“I would love that, Jane.  What do you think you would wear?” Maura asked, and Jane saw the challenge and a bit of mischief in her friend’s eyes.

“I believe I can make it work and be socially acceptable,” Jane shot back to her friend and grinned turned to leave the morgue, but she was called out to.

“When would you like to go?” Maura asked.

“I have no idea when the next performance is, and what is good.  I am not versed in going to ballet performances.  Can you help me with that?” Jane asked with a bright smile and a soft tone to her voice.  Maura saw it for what it was.  She asked, but if Maura could set it up that would be great.  It was meeting Maura half way. 

“Why did you ask me to go?” Maura asked as Jane began to turn.

“You only ask if I want tickets to things you want to go to but want to share with me,” Jane shot a grin at Maura, “I know you wanted to go, and I wanted to go with you,” Jane said and then walked away, shoulders back, posture confidant.  When she got to the elevator and the doors closed she let out a breath and leaned against the wall.  She just asked out her best friend.  Then it ran through her mind, she just asked out Maura.  Fuck, she had nothing to wear.  She punched a different button and sucked in a deep breath and bit the bullet.  She found who she needed to talk to.

“MA, I need your help,” Jane said lowly to Angela as she was cleaning tables. Angela looked at Jane as if her daughter grew two heads.

“I need to go dress shopping,” Jane said swallowing, and waited for the overbearing mother squeal.  But it never came.

“Where are you going?” Angela asked smiling at her daughter.

“Ballet?” Jane said with a question at the end.  Angela smiled brighter.

“I can help you out later honey,”’ Angela said, and Jane sighed in relief, but something was off.  Her mother wasn’t her usual self.

“Oh Janie,” Angela shouted out and Jane turned around, “Who asked who out?”

Jane blinked and looked around and was blessed to be alone in the café with her mother.  Jane looked to Angela and narrowed her eyes.

“What do you know Ma?” Jane asked getting closer to her mother.  Angela shrugged.

“You would only go to the ballet for one person,” Angela stated and then looked up at Jane, “Jane, where do you think you got your deductive reasoning from.  It sure as hell wasn’t your father,” Angela stated as she stood before her daughter.  Jane looked at her mother.  Her mother had a point.  She was observant as hell, and remembered everything, word for word, event for event as if she was commentator doing a play by play.  Jane had never thought about it before, but yeah, she got it from her Ma.  If her mother became a detective she would be unstoppable.

“I did,” Jane said assessing her mother’s reaction, looking for judgement, disapproval.  All she got was a smile in return. Angela patted her cheek.

“Good,” Angela said and then turned around to get behind the counter then she nailed Jane with a look, “Don’t you dare hurt that girl,” she threated her daughter.  Jane was taken aback.

“Ma, I am the kid here, don’t you think you need to tell Maura that?” Jane asked confused.

“Nope, she isn’t the idiot who has commitment issues and runs from a good thing every time something good happens to her,” Angela told her daughter.  She laid that fact down straight for Jane.  Jane didn’t know what was to happen.  She didn’t know how she felt, but she felt something.  Something not quite what she had felt before.  It was the same gut churning sensation as she had when she was beginning to feel deeply for someone, but this time there wasn’t discomfort, just a sense of rightness, mixed with nervousness.  She didn’t want to screw up.  But what did she not want to screw up, she still wasn’t quite sure.  No that wasn’t right, she knew, she just wasn’t ready to admit to yet.

“I will do my best Ma,” Jane said to her mother.  Angela nodded knowing that was as good as any promise that Jane would ever give her.  No matter what Jane would walk through the fires of hell in place of hurting Maura.

OOOoooOOOooo

“What else is the connection other than two ballerinas in love with one another?” Korsak asked.

“Actually, male ballet dancers are known as Ballerino in Italian or danseur in French,” Everyone looked up to find Maura, “but most prefer to be call male dancers, or just dancer,” Maura said to the three detectives.  Korsak smiled as he always did when she stopped by.  He always seemed to have one of those Vince Korsak, charming smiles for Maura, but Jane knew it was more than that.  Korsak was the eldest of them all, even old enough to be their father.  That is the stance he took with Maura.  He listened to her talk about her family, and part of it touched his heart.  Jane looked to Korsak and Maura and saw them smile to the other.  Maura had so much family, she didn’t even realize it.

“I came to tell you there was one thing I missed, well didn’t miss as much as it was a simple over sight,” Maura said as she hinted and gave Frost the papers.  She looked at Jane.  Jane knew the reason for the minor oversight.  Maura was sleep deprived and wasn’t as thorough as she usually was.

“Did you spend the day, checking your work from yesterday?” Jane asked from her seat, still reclined with her feet crossed at the ankle sitting on Frosts desk. Maura nodded, and Jane smiled shook her head.

“Thank you,” Jane said, and everyone looked to her, “If it where my brother on the table I would want to know everything,” Jane said.  Everyone nodded, touched by her words, and aware that she was trying everything she could to help close this case for her fellow officer. 

“There seems to be a concentration of Oleander sap in her mouth,” Frost said reading through the notes.  Maura sighed. 

“She was murdered,” the doctor confirmed.  Jane, Korsak, and Frost shared a look.

“DO NOT tell Crowe that,” Korsak said as Jane opened her mouth. It didn’t happen often, but Jane was quiet.  She was silence by the heavy decision to tell the brother of the dead girl down their that she was in fact murdered.  She felt sick.  Maura watched as her features fell and her skin turned pale. She instinctively stepped closer to Jane.  They didn’t touch, they didn’t have to, but the nearness was appreciated as Maura pulled a chair to the group looking as if she was joining them as a whole, not only comforting Jane.

“We need to go undercover somehow.  So, who can dance?” Korsak spouted.  Frost threw his hands in the air shaking his head.

“Nope, I can maybe bust a move on the hip hop scene but not like this stuff,” Frost said as he waved a hand to his monitor.

“Not me, I’m too damned old, and I could barely waltz at my weddings,” Vince chuckled and then everyone looked at Jane.  Jane’s chin rested on her hand, that rested on the arm of her chair thinking, gazing off into space.

“What?” she asked once she noticed the silence. She looked at her team, then to Maura.  “What did I miss?”

“Jane can you dance?” Maura asked the detective.

Jane shrugged her shoulders, then it dawned on her, “No, nope. I am too tall, and a ballerino couldn’t even think of lifting my ass off the ground,” Jane argued, and everyone actually had to agree about the height issue but scoffed and ribbed jokingly about her ass being lifted off the ground.

“Jane you didn’t answer my question,” Maura probed.  Jane fidgeted, and then got up from her chair and head to the elevators. 

“I am not doing this,” she threw over she shoulder. Jane waited and waited, tapped her foot, and then felt a hand on her shoulder, she turned. She found hazel eyes that seemed to bore into her confidence and shatter her walls.  She dropped her head slightly and dug her hands into her back pockets.

“Ma, she put me in dance for the longest time,” Jane sighed as the doors opened, “I could play one sport if I also took dance lessons,” Jane gritted. 

“So, you can dance?” Maura prompted.   Jane looked at Maura and could see the disbelief in her eyes.  Jane turned her back to where it leaned against the wall of the elevator.  She instinctively hit the button for the morgue. The destination did not go unnoticed with Maura.

“Why is that so hard to believe?” Jane ground out growing defensive.  Maura simply turned to the doors as they opened, “Besides you are the ideal height for a ballerina, a taller one, but still in the range,” Jane observed.  Maura opened her mouth to reply when she stepped from the elevator, and then stopped when she came to her lab.

“You are not getting me to go under cover,” Maura scoffed as she walked toward her office.  Jane narrowed her eyes and reached for the doctor’s wrist and spun Maura to her and then, stepped close, dipped her, and then brought them back upright.

“I knew it,” Jane said with a smirk, “You can dance,” Jane said and turned from Maura.  Maura reached out and pulled the taller woman to her, sliding their bodies together in a waltz, then Jane smirked and twisted them into a tango.  Before long the two women were laughing at their antics, breathless as they found their chairs in Maura’s office.

“I, like you, had taken dance for a long time,” Maura smiled as she spoke, “It was a release from reality in some ways,” Maura confessed. Jane watched Maura and remembered how she spoke of the ballet that morning.

“Someday we will have to go dancing,” Maura said before halting her words.  She wished she could grab her words and pull them back into her chest, never spoken. 

“About last night,” Maura began but stopped, she clenched her hands, held her fists in her lap and then released them and straightened out her skirt. 

“Last night was hard for you,” Jane said hoping Maura would look at her, “I am glad you wanted me there for you.  I am glad you told me about your dream,” Jane slid her palms over her slacks, and then took a breath.

“I have the same dream, just in reverse,” Jane whispered then looked into Maura’s hazel eyes glimmering wet, “I watch you die. I watch him kill you, then hover over me taunting me with your death,” Jane confessed quietly. 

Nothing could be heard after that statement.  The only noise was the whirl of the air conditioner, and the hum of the refrigeration unit to house the bodies.  Maura and Jane stared at the other.  Maura had words, many of them, but the flood of those words all at once kept her from speaking as if they bottlenecked at the exit of her thoughts and jammed themselves in her throat, unable to communicate.  Jane watched as Maura’s eyes slid over her, closed, blinked, and her lips tried to move. Those lips.  Jane swallowed and clenched her teeth.  She would not think of those lips here, now, after that confession. How they felt when she stole that kiss from her friend, and delighted, hell she practically soared, when she pulled back hoping to calm Maura in her breakdown. Her thoughts where pulled back as Maura placed her fingers to her lips as if she read Jane’s mind. 

“I will not apologize,” Jane said firmly, yet barely above a whisper.

“I don’t want you to,” Maura stated back just as firmly and just as softly. 

There it was, mutual attraction.

Jane’s phone rang, as did Maura’s.  They looked at the other as their lives came crashing back to them.  Another moment ripped from them. Jane stood to leave just as Maura reached out for Jane. It was not said but it was felt, and Jane nodded.  They both walked from the morgue. Finally walking in separate directions.  For Jane it was an instant loss of warmth, and her heart smashed against her chest.  For Maura it was as if her chest grew heavy, and her breathing no matter how measured or normal, felt suffocated, and short.


	7. Chapter 7

“How in the hell is this happening to all of these people and there are no suspects?” Frost asked as he watched Jane process the body with Dr. Isles.  Jane stood and looked around.  This was different.

“Maura, what can you tell me?” Jane asked the medical examiner.

“I would say, he was killed with a sharp hit to the back of his head, but I need to run tests to be sure,” Maura tried her hardest to ‘guess’ for Jane. 

“If you could guess,” Jane began, and Maura slightly slapped at Jane’s shin. Jane simply smiled, “Ill eagerly anticipate your findings.  Frost could you look for a round object a pipe, pole, or a…” Jane stopped and then threw her hands in the air, “or a rusty rod.”

Frost handed the rod to the CSU technician smiling at Jane.  Jane looked down to Maura, and the blond rolled her eyes.  Jane smirked and then walked around the scene.  The scene did not go unnoticed by Frost and Korsak. Jane ripped her gloves off as she approached a woman crying, the woman who found the body. 

“I am sorry, Miss…” Jane prompted the blubbering mess of woman.

“Little, Corine Little,” she replied, and Jane nodded.  Check got her name now…

“Could you tell me how you found the body of…” Jane asked.

“Raymond, Raymond Rowling.  He was the director of the upcoming production.  That’s three people gone, how can we go on?” she asked as she gazed with glazed over eyes at the dead body. 

“How do you know Mr. Rowling?” Jane asked softly coaxing the woman to trust her, confide in her.

“We were,” she swallowed, “We were supposed to meet here,” she replied eyes dropping to her hands.

“I know this is hard, but can you tell me why?” Jane went for sympathetic.

“We were…” she looked around and leaned forward, and Jane leaned forward too, “We were lovers,” Corine Little dropped a small bomb on Jane, and she may or more may not have found motive.

“One more question, did Raymond Rowling, have a close personal relationship with Ava Crowe?” Jane asked as she placed a comforting hand on the woman’s shoulder hoping to get her to confide in her.  It was the opposite.  The woman’s eyes shot open, and then she glared at the detective.

“How dare you?” Corine Little strode away from the scene and Jane.  Jane watched the woman stalk away with narrowed eyes.  Korsak came up next to her and asked how it went and Jane told him she had a gut feeling.  Korsak knew not to argue with Jane’s gut, but there was something about this that didn’t seem to fit right.  Something was off.

“Jane,” Maura called the detective over.

“He has been dead for three hours,” Maura informed and Jane nodded. Little found the body an our ago according to her interview. 

“Frost,” Jane called out, and out of nowhere her partner popped by her side, “Can you have the cameras in the area and see when she actually came to the theater?  Also, can you go back through the cameras throughout the day?” Jane asked.  Frost nodded and took off, Korsak monitored the scene with his hands in his pockets.  They both had gut feelings, and this was getting out of hand.  Three people from the Boston Ballet Company dead, and all of them worked on the same production. 

“I think it might be time to get those tickets Maur,” Jane said softly.  Maura nodded but Jane noticed the fallen look in Maura’s eyes.  Jane walked Maura to the car talking about the findings at the scene but when she got to Maura’s car she looked around.

“It won’t be about work Maura,” Jane looked at her friend, “Ok not all of it.  I really do want to go to the ballet with you,” Jane said.  Maura nodded and opened her door.  She started her engine but before she took off leaving the detective Maura rolled down her window.

“Dress or tux detective?” Maura asked.  Jane smiled and leaned down in the window. 

“Dress,” Jane said to her friend.  Maura smiled. 

“I can’t wait,” Maura said, “Tomorrow 8 o’clock,” Maura confirmed the time with Jane.

“It’s a date,” Jane said.  She knew she said it.  She wanted to say it, and she said it. No backing out now, and, Maura’s face was all the more reason to have said it.  The pleasant shock written on her features was more than enough reward for being bold.

“Yes, it is,” Maura smiled back at Jane and then left the scene to get back to the lab.  Jane turned around and looked at the building.  She noticed camera’s positioned monitoring the roads and alleyways. There were two in this alley alone.  She shot off a text to Frost with pictures, so he knew what she was looking at.  She walked back in and found Korsak.

“Ballet with the doc?” he asked privately as they stood away from everyone else.  Jane shot him a look and he smiled, “I won’t tell anyone, but does your mother know?” Korsak asked.  He hated being interrogated by Jane’s mother.  She was worse than Jane was in an interrogation room, and twice as frightening.

“Yeah, she will help me find a dress,” Jane said.

“Try for a dress with a shawl,” he said, and Jane looked at him with wide eyes.

“These places can get cold.  You look great in a strapless every time you went undercover.  So, I think you will go that route, but when I took wife number two from time to time I froze my ass off every show,” he said with a smirk. Jane looked at the man beside her and then looked back at the crime scene with a smirk.

“Good to know,” Jane reviewed Maura’s questions earlier.  Tux or dress?  Jane wondered if it even mattered.  Jane pulled out her phone.

**Jane: Would it have mattered if I said tux?**

**Maura: No. I have said earlier, no matter what you wear you would be splendid.**

**Jane: Thanks**

Jane put her phone away.  Sometimes it was great to feel lovely, no matter what you wore.  She would have to test that theory with Maura someday.  But not now. She smiled when it hit her.  She wanted to be beautiful for Maura, try for Maura.  Everyone could take her as she was or get lost.  She wanted to be more than blazers and sweatpants with Maura.  She never really wanted that with anyone else.

**OOOoooOOOooo**

Jane and Korsak monitored the scene while waiting from Frost on the update from the cameras.  Jane narrowed her eyes and looked around at the people at the crime scene then looked up to the mezzanine.  She walked from the room, and then found stairs up.  She came to a corridor decorated in rich crimsons and wood paneling and turned. Jane saw the stage, with seats looking down upon the gallery seating. Her hand went to her gun.  Blood everywhere as if it were straight out of a horror movie.  Her hand went to her phone. 

“Korsak, get up here and bring CSU,” Jane said in a strained whisper.  She was on high alert. Her hand pulled the gun from her holster when she heard a noise from the right.  She waited.  She could hear Vince coming up the stairs, and the chatter behind her.  She had taken risks in the past, going gung ho and then inevitably something ended up broken, scrapped up needing stitches, or she got shot. Not this time.

Korsak came into the balcony and saw Jane with her gun drawn and her attention solely on the area to her right.  He pulled his gun as she began to slowly walk toward the noise she heard.  Down each step, slowly, methodically.  The burn in her quadriceps told her she was alive, and the blood on the floor was not hers.  A flash from Hoyt popped into her mind and she held her gun up straighter, poised like panther about to pounce on any movement.  There it was again but different and she looked at Vince.  They both blinked as the suspected noise sounded like a gurgle this time.  Jane reacted.  She flew down the steps.  She holstered her gun as she motioned to Korsak to keep his at the ready.  She placed her fingertips to the neck of the woman on the floor.  Jane gasped.

“There’s a pulse.  Get an ambulance back up here,” Jane ordered but Korsak was already on the phone.  Jane didn’t move the victim.  She made the woman as comfortable as possible and murmured small assurances to keep the woman there, breathing, and alive.  She was their only link to the case that could provide them with a suspect.  When the EMS drove off she looked to Korsak and she let out a deep breath.  She motioned to the car and he got in and followed the siren, and lights toward the hospital.

“You didn’t rush in,” Vince said after a few blocks of silence.  Jane was driving, and he noticed her grip tighten on the steering wheel and her arms pulled slightly forward as she shifted uncomfortable in her seat.  She didn’t reply.

“Jane,” Korsak began but he let out a sigh, “Its ok to feel.  But why?”

“Why what?” Jane rasped back watching traffic and making sure she stayed with the ambulance in front of her.

“Why did you make the conscious choice not to rush in to the situation?  You always do.  I would like to know why, that is if you want to tell me,” Korsak said honestly.  It was that honesty that made Jane relax and then glance over to her old partner once.  She saw him, sitting there, reaching out to her, wanting to help her, wanting to understand.

“Would it make any sense if I told you it was because of my dreams?” Jane replied cryptically.  Vince just sat there and thought, watching the traffic in front of them.  Then he nodded, and he reached out.  He never reaches out to Jane.  She knew he hated it because she hated it, the reminder of their worst moments together. 

“Dreams about these?” he asked as he gently took her right hand and held her scared hand.  The gesture was so fatherly that Jane blinked back tears.  She pulled her hand and placed it in her lap.  Silence for many more moments then they turned into the hospital driveway.

“Yes,” Jane said, and then looked toward Vince, found his gentle gaze and swallowed, “To an extent.  They are backward.  I am caught, and it all goes wrong.  He is…” She raked her hand through her locks.

“He is still there.  I understand ghosts all to well Jane,” Korsak said as he looked forward.  Jane saw the haunted gaze play in his eyes.  It wasn’t the victims this time.  It was his own demons, his own personal boogeyman, just like hers.

“Who is yours?” Jane asked before they got out of the car.  Korsak shifted and then looked at Jane.  He saw the hope in her eyes, hope that she was not alone.

“I can’t tell you Jane,” Vince began, and Jane pulled back faster than lightning and was out of the car faster that a bullet train.  Korsak quickly went after her and caught her elbow and she yanked away.

“Jane!” he bellowed, and she stood firm but not looking at her mentor, her partner, her friend, “I can’t tell you because it will change a few things,” Jane looked up at her partner, “I like the way things are right now,” Vincent Korsak could only give that much right then in that moment.  He needed to talk to one other person first before he told Jane, and he had no idea how to begin that conversation.

“I like the way things are too,” Jane rasped and began to stride toward the emergency room.

**OOOoooOOOooo**

**Mom: How about this one?**

Jane sat in the waiting room as the victim went through surgery.  Too many thoughts crossed her mind and she was grateful for her mother going to find her dress without her.  She sent picture after picture of wonderful dresses but none of them spoke to her.  Once her mother got testy and typed back asking if she really wanted to do this.  But the resilient detective sent back to her mother that she was sure.  She just didn’t like the red, hated the pink, the black one felt like she was going to a funeral. 

**Jane: No, Ma.  I’m not going to a funeral.**

**Mom: That’s it I’m calling Maura**

**Jane:  NO YOU WILL NOT!!!!**

**Mom: Then quit being picky.**

**Jane: I’m not picky, and if I am being picky it’s because I am being picky for her.**

Jane blinked after she hit send.  _OH NO!_ She looked at her phone and looked at every option she had in her settings but alas she could not unsend the message she sent to her mother. She began to bounce her leg.  No reply, nothing.  She looked at her watch.  Time passed slowly as she waited for her mother to text her back.  Almost an hour later Jane heard the tone just as the doctor came from ICU. Jane ignored the text.

“What can you tell me Doc?” Jane asked as she went to him.

“Lucky to be alive.  Massive amounts of internal bleeding and she is not out of the woods yet, but she is stable for the moment,” He looked over her shoulder to Korsak then back to Jane, “she wants to talk to the police.  That’s all she will say.” 

Jane looked at Korsak and then nodded.  He turned with them flanking his right and felt side as he went through the list of injuries the woman had exacted upon her.  The one that popped out was bruising to her knees, hip and side, as if she was pushed down the stairs in the balcony. Jane took the lead, and when she saw the woman, her heart went to the person barely hanging on in the bed.

“I’m Detective Jane Rizzoli and this is Detective Vince Korsak.  We heard you want to talk to us. How can we help you?” Jane asked as she leaned down and used the softest voice she could muster to make the woman feel at ease.

“I am… Stephanie… Blackwell.  I…dance,” She closed her eyes and a tear slipped down her bruised and scuffed temple.

“Take your time sweetie,” Jane said as she took the woman’s hand. Stephanie nodded and swallowed.

“Black mask… my height,” the woman said, “woman.”

“How can you tell?” Vince asked from behind Jane.

“Fingernails… in my hair,” Stephanie said softly, slowly trying not to use her energy.

“That’s good.  Is there anything else you can tell us?” Jane asked as she held the woman’s hand.

“Her voice…” she swallowed painfully, “Was rich… low… mean, and threatening. She said… ‘It will be my time now with out you,’ then…” she paused as pain flooded her body once more but she continued eyes closed, “She pulled back my head, nails scrapping across my scalp… and pulled something across my chest. I squirmed and couldn’t… cut my throat. They hit me in the throat after. I couldn’t breathe.  Threw me down the steps.  I was kicked, stomped on, and then bashed against.”

“Were you meeting some one?” Jane asked softly.

“No, I go there to think,” Stephanie closed her eyes as pain raked through her body. 

“Get some rest Stephanie,” Jane said as she patted the woman’s hand and then looked to Vince as he looked up from his not pad as he took notes. Jane and Korsak left the room and Jane blew out a sigh that rattled her lips in a raspberry.

“A woman,” Korsak said, “Her height and mean. Not much to go one,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, but wasn’t the woman who found the body about Stephanie’s height?” Jane asked Korsak and he made a face and nodded.

“Yeah, but so are a lot of people,” Vince rebutted.

“Yeah, but I want to interview Miss Little again.  Something doesn’t fit,” Jane said as she began to feel that rush in her chest.  The hint of a chase on the horizon.  She loved this part of her job.  Piecing the puzzle together was her favorite part, figuring it out, solving the mystery.  She held her hands together and her right hand rubbed her left hand’s scars.  Finally, they had a lead.

**OOOoooOOOooo**

“Maura,” Angela began, and Maura sifted through dresses.  She had the good doctor with her throughout the entire shopping trip and had already bought Jane’s dress.  Angela kept showing the messages to Maura, and they had a good bit of fun, but then Angela didn’t show Maura the last message.  Angela felt that would be going a little far, and be a little too revealing.  Something shifted in Maura when Angela refused to show her the last message.

“Is it easy to lie, Angela?” Maura asked as they went through a few dresses that Maura was trying to find for her date.  She wanted to wear something completely different, something Jane had never seen before. 

“Depends, why?” Angela didn’t like this line of questioning.  She watched as Maura slid the dresses on the rack past the other and then sighed.  Maura nodded her head and then went out into the crowd of people in the mall.  Maura dug in her purse for her keys and Angela knew they were going to her car. 

“I can’t lie to people.  You all know this, and yet sometimes it seems as if you forget that I can tell that you lie.  It hurts when people lie to me, especially those I hold dear,” Maura replied.  Angela got to the car with Maura and placed the dress gently in the back seat.  They got into the car.

“I am sorry, it isn’t that I meant to lie to you.  Its just Janie is a little, well self-conscious.  The last message she sent was personal and I know my Jane.  She would have rather never sent the message if she the power to unsend it,” Angela said hoping the woman would understand.

“She isn’t second guessing our date, is she?” Maura asked nervously

“Oh no sweetie,” Angela smiled reassuringly to the strawberry blonde, “But if I showed you that message she would not forgive me.  Is that ok?”

“I see, so she admitted something she would be embarrassed by and you are protecting her,” Maura mulled the thoughts over in her mind.  What could have been so revealing? Her phone toned as they pulled into one of her favorite dress boutiques.

**Jane:  I was thinking about you. Would you like to have a drink later?**

Maura smiled as she typed back a response then looked up to see Angela watching her.  Maura’s smile slipped, and then she looked down to her phone.

“My Jane can sometimes shock us all with her big heart.  Judging by the smile on your face she might have said something to make you feel better about your date tomorrow?” Angela probed. 

Maura nodded and put her phone in her purse and walked into the shop.  Smile on her face grew as she saw the high-end fashion and gorgeous dresses.  She found she didn’t want just a dress she got stress buying.  She wanted something new for something that would be new and wonderful for them both. Her eyes landed on an outfit, and she smiled as she walked toward it.

“Maura?” Angela gulped as the doctor pulled it from the wall.  Maura grinned. New indeed.


	8. Chapter 8

Jane walked into the precinct with Korsak to follow up on their finding at the crime scene.  Jane especially wanted to check on Frost’s research.  She kept thinking about those cameras, and the woman that the victim, Stephanie Blackwell, had spoke about.  The only woman there was Corine Little.  She wanted to know when she really got there.  Were there cameras in the auditorium, and how in the hell where they going to cordon off the mezzanine during Maura and Jane’s date tomorrow.

“Jane, I went over the cameras and it is weird.  There is no proof that Corine Little even went into the building.  The only people there were Rowling, Blackwell, and this dude,” Frost threw the video of a man getting out of a cab.  Aviators covered most of his face, and all you could see was blonde hair that fell over his brow and eyes, swept stylishly to the side.  A dark brown long pea coat, slacks and what looked like loafers adorned his feet. 

“Frost is there any way we can clean it up, or zoom?” Jane asked as she studied the image, but Frost shook his head.

“I have tried every angle, different cameras, slow motion, everything.  We can’t get the guys face.  All we know is he is short and blonde,” Frost said. And Jane turned.

“How short?” she paced while watching Frost.  I would say about 5 feet 6 inches,” he guessed.  Jane nodded.

“Actually, that man looks to be about 5 foot 3 inches,” a voice came from behind them.  Jane immediately smiled when she turned around. 

“Hey,” she said feeling butterflies flutter about her stomach.  Then she cleared her throat as she swallowed and straightened herself up.  But the smile never left her lips as she looked toward the doctor. 

“How do you gather that doc?” Korsak asked as he pointed to the difference in the top of the cab and the top of the suspects head.  She walked to the screen and pointed.

“They are elevated by the curb they are standing on,” she said then turned around.  She waited for a split second and then Jane snapped as if a thought hit her.  She looked down at her watch.  It was pushing 7:30 in the evening.

“Guys, I think this is a good place to stop.  Thanks, Maur.  Good catch.  Excellent job of finding this guy Frost,” Jane smiled to her partner and he nodded with a small smile.  “Vince… About earlier.  I get it.  I just wanted you to know that,” before Korsak could reply Jane sped to her desk retrieved her blazer, and then walked with Maura to the elevator. 

Frost and Korsak watched the women standing together, close but not too close, and when the doors opened Jane’s hand moved to the middle of Maura’s back almost intimately escorting the woman into the box. Frost looked up to the older detective.

“Do you think something is going on between them?” Frost asked seeing a small smile of Korsak’s lips.

“Not my place to say and if there was, I don’t care.  They seem happy around one another,” Korsak said looking to Frost with a raised eyebrow as if challenging the tech savvy detective.

“Don’t get me wrong, I think they are perfect for one another, its just,” Frost paused and tilted his head, “I like the way things are right now.  You know?” Frost said.  Korsak’s eyebrow raised higher as words he said earlier were echoed back to him.  He nodded.

“I am alright with that change Frost.  Its time Jane was happy,” Vince said as he remembered back to their moment in the car.  “If Maura can chase away Jane’s demons, I am all for them being together,” Korsak said to Frost.  Frost thought about it.  He realized there was still so much he didn’t know, or understand, or he was simply lost on.

“What did she mean about getting it?” Frost asked as he saved his info to the cloud, and then grabbed his own coat and started walking with the Sargent to the elevators.

“It was nothing.  Just ghosts,” Korsak replied and clapped the man on the shoulder looking at Barry, “I hope you never ever tell me that you understand something like that,” Korsak smiled as Frost nodded his head and they entered the elevator.

**OOOoooOOOooo**

“Do you want to go to the Robber?” Maura asked Jane. Jane smiled and shook her head.  Jane stood on the sidewalk and took a deep breath and looked into Maura’s eyes. 

“I don’t want to be around a bunch of cops right now.  How about dinner?  There is a good deli a few blocks away, what do you say to some sandwiches to go?” Jane asked.  Maura’s smile was radiant.

“I think that is wonderful.  I’ll take us and we can head to my place.  We can have some wine as well as…” Maura’s smile slipped as she looked away and paused.  Jane reached out and hooked her fingers with Maura’s shaking them getting those gorgeous eyes to look at her.

“That sounds great,” Jane affirmed.  Maura’s smile returned as they head to her car. Jane and Maura arrived at the deli ordered their sandwiches, a turkey and swiss on dark rye with spicy brown mustard and iceberg lettuce for Jane, and for Maura a grilled chicken on whole grain with a vinaigrette and shredded lettuce and tomatoes.  Sandwiches in hand the ride to Maura’s was silent but comfortable. 

“I like that we don’t have to talk to feel like we belong together,” Jane said as she watched the darkness fly by with lights intermingling with the backdrop.  Jane pulled her eyes away from the world outside and focused on the word in the car.  Maura’s lips turned up in a lazy smirk.

“I like that too.  Most of the time I feel like I have to say something, but instantly regret it because what I say is usually not understood, or not filtered or simply odd,” Maura spoke truthfully.

“I like it though,” Jane said then she blinked swallowed, and then thought about that small statement and then smiled, “I like that I know you will not lie to me, you are honest.  Its almost pure.  That’s the only way I can explain you and your conversations, especially with me,” Jane elaborated with a cool yet shy smile.

“You think I am pure?” Maura asked with a grin as they pulled up to Maura’s home.  Jane opened the door and looked at Maura over the car.  Her dark eyes, and striking cheekbones looked honestly at Maura.  It made Maura shudder slightly.

“No,” Jane deadpanned, eyes unblinking, face straight.  Maura blinked then Jane began to chuckle. “I believe your intentions are pure,” Jane reiterated as she walked around the car.

“I see,” Maura tilted her head as she unlocked the door and met Jane’s eyes, “Thank you for being honest with me,” Maura smiled as she walked into the house. 

Jane followed and placed the sandwiches on the island counter and looked around.  She saw that Maura didn’t lock the door and she sighed and looked at her friend.  The blonde watched the detective walk back to the door and lock the deadbolt and door lock and lean against the door, eyes closed.  It was stupid she knew, and it was not her house, but she had to.  She had to make sure the door was locked, she had to feel safe, and if it was as small as locking the door in Maura’s house she would do it.  After standing there, refocusing her thoughts, she looked and saw Maura watching her from the kitchen.

“I’m sorry,” Jane began as she walked back taking off her blazer.  She sat on one of the bar stools just as Maura handed her a plate with her sandwich resting in the middle of it.  Jane gratefully took it.

“Its alright.  I should probably get better about locking my door anyways,” Maura took a bite of her sandwich and watched her friend.  She was Jane, well of course she was Jane, but something was off.  Something had unsettled Jane recently, and she wanted to know what it was, but you cannot push Jane, Jane will run, and the last thing Maura wanted was for Jane to run. 

“Can I ask you for a favor?” Maura asked as she sipped a glass of water.  Her mouth suddenly felt like she had sawdust in her mouth, and her chest dropped to her stomach and her heart was in her throat.  Jane took a bite from her sandwich and nodded. 

“Could you stay with me again?” Maura asked her question with a strength she had no idea she was capable of in that moment. 

Maura watched as Jane froze. Her mouth closed, mid chew, her brown almost black eyes wide.  Then Maura waited as she saw the small functions in Jane’s facial muscles began to move again. Jane chewed, continued chewing, and then swallowed.  She reached out and took the glass of water waiting for her and sipped from it.  No, strike that, she chugged the entire glass of water.

“Jane you don’t…” Maura began as she tried to save any dignity she had then Jane held up a hand.

“No, its ok.  I will,” Jane pulled her hands together, rubbed her scars in contemplation.

“Why do you seem uncomfortable?” Maura asked shifting from foot to foot.

“Maur, can I ask you a question?” Jane looked up and then Maura nodded this time as she placed her hands on the counter to keep her standing.

“In your dreams…” Jane began and noticed Maura shift from foot to foot and then began to twist the ring on her finger nervously, “Are they always nightmares?” Jane asked her question and Maura’s eyes shot up, “I don’t want to be a nightmare for you,” Jane whispered, “I don’t want my worst fears to become your nightmares,” Jane looked away as she felt her eyes burn. 

Maura walked around the counter quickly and took the detective into her arms.  She was shocked when the proud, heroic woman fell into her wrapped her arms around her.  When she felt the fabric about her neck saturate she clenched her eyes closed as stroked Jane’s hair shushing her friend.  She kissed Jane’s temple, holding her tightly.

“What happened today?” Maura asked in Jane’s ear standing there being a rock for the woman she…

“We found a woman, she was beaten and barely alive in the balcony,” Jane began, and Maura gasped, “I went up there to see the scene from a different point of view.  I there was so much blood.  It hit me, reminded me of…” Jane stopped and pulled from Maura. 

She had enough, she couldn’t do this, she couldn’t spill her fears, and terror, and demons to Maura.  Maura felt the lost of contact like a bucket of cold water spilling over her.  Jane stood got her jacket, eyes glazed over and tears streaming down her cheeks.

“No,” Maura spoke louder than she wanted as she grabbed Jane’s wrist and pulled with all her might. 

The sensation was hard, and then soft and warm.  Never had Maura thought that she could associate the word ‘no’ with such a phenomenal experience.  She froze as Jane’s wrist fell from her grasp, and Jane’s hands slid to Maura’s biceps.  Jane’s thumbs stroked back and forth over Maura’s flesh as they stood pressed together. Lips as soft as water and yet as hard as a mountain.  God, she wasn’t a huge believer in God, but in that moment all she could do was thank whom ever created Jane’s perfect lips.  It was simple, it was just the pressing of one’s lips to another, but it was right. 

“Please,” Maura begged against Jane’s lips, “Please don’t go,” Maura pulled away and pressed her head to Jane’s jaw then her neck as she slid her arms around Jane’s waist, “Not like this, not distraught, and hurting.  You don’t have to stay with me, but just don’t go like this,” Maura whispered as she held Jane.

Jane’s hands slid up Maura’s back and caressed up and down as she held her tighter to her body.  She took in the scent of Maura’s shampoo, the way her body fit to hers, and how Maura’s words were like a salve to her frayed heart and soul. 

“Ok,” Jane rasped.  Maura nodded against Jane’s shoulder.  Jane took a deep breath, “I had a flashback. As I slowly went to the noise.  I made sure I had backup, I called Korsak, and waited,” Jane said as she held Maura, “I waited because…” Jane paused, she couldn’t do it she felt the words in her throat, but they would not flow.  Maura tightened her arms about Jane letting her know it was ok, she could tell her.

“I waited because of you,” Jane barely spoke above the whisper and if Maura was not as close as she was she would have missed those words.  Jane felt Maura tense, and then pull back, but not away. Hazel eyes met deep brown.

“I don’t understand,” Maura said blinking.  Jane smiled slightly but felt nervous.

“I instantly thought of you when I heard that noise.  I could not put you through another hospital visit if it went wrong,” Jane confessed waiting for Maura to run.  Waiting for the good doctor to tell her to leave, or at the very least pull away from her.

“Thank you,” Maura said still holding back, but still in Jane’s arms.

She looked to the stairs and then to Jane and tugged her toward them.  Jane smiled softly and said a silent prayer.  Thanking God for keeping Maura there, with her.  Jane showered in the guest bathroom, changed her clothes from the collection she had in the guest bedroom, and then walked to Maura’s room and knocked.  Maura was already scrubbed clean in her own pajamas when Jane opened the door.  Maura looked up and pulled back the covers for Jane.  The brunette slid between the sheets and faced her best friend.  Maura reached out and slipped a stray lock of hair behind Jane’s ear to keep it from her face.  She cupped Jane’s cheek, stroked her jaw and then put her hand on the bed between them.

“No,” Maura said, and Jane’s eyes narrowed, and Maura grinned slightly, “No not all of my dreams about you are nightmares,” Maura answered Jane’s earlier question.  Jane let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She slipped her hand over Maura’s between them.

“Good,” Jane squeezed Maura’s hand in response.  Maura’s word choice did not go unnoticed by Jane.  With a sigh from both women, they fell into slumber, hands clasped like a lifeline to chase away the phantoms.


	9. Chapter 9

Jane walked in to the precinct with a cup of coffee and a pop to her step.  She was the first one in the homicide bullpen and then diverted her path to the anteroom where she pulled up the App Maura showed her of the Oleander groves in the Boston area. She took a sticky note and placed it where they found Caro Rivera, and then another sticky note and placed it on the screen where they found Ava Crowe.  She wasn’t as tech savvy as Frost and wanted to get her notes on the screen before she lost her thoughts.

When she woke this morning, she was rested and felt phenomenal. It didn’t help that Jane panicked for a split second when she could move her hand feeling it pinned to the mattress she lay on.  When she yanked her hand from beneath Maura’s ribs causing the woman to grunt and then sigh, it took everything in Jane’s power to stifle her laugher.  When she got dressed in the guest room, she walked back to the sleeping cinnamon blonde, looked into the room and watched Maura breathe for a few moments before taking Maura’s phone and unlocking the locked screen with Maura’s own thumb.

She opened an untitled note and typed in her message and lay the phone back on the dresser next to the bed to charge on the wireless charging station.  She smiled her last at the woman and flew out of the room and to work where she could hopefully get a jump on the case, finish earlier than normal, and get ready for her date without feeling rushed. 

Finally, her team began to filter in and both Frost and Korsak paused when they found the monitor on the wall covered in stick it notes with notes on each of them.

“When did you get here?” Korsak asked as he sipped his coffee. 

Jane lifted her head and grinned then eyed his cup.  Korsak playfully pulled his cup of coffee to him and Frost laughed but his laughter fell short when Jane turned her gaze on his cup.

“You don’t want this Jane,” Frost said, and Jane lifted an eye brow as Jane advanced on the younger man’s coffee.  He backed away.

“It’s decaf Jane,” Frost grinned when Jane pulled back as if scandalized.  She pointed her index finger at him.

“That’s just wrong Frost,” she turned back to the monitor, “Give me some time to head downstairs to get some coffee, and I’ll be right back to explain some connections,” Jane sped out of the room and then towards the elevator. 

When the doors opened she walked into the box then pushed the lobby button, she rubbed her eyes.  Looking at the monitor and her notes for so long set her eyes were on fire.  She realized she was at it for about 2 hours already. She concluded they needed a man on the inside, they all agreed to that but how?  No one in their team could dance, well except for her and Maura but they were nowhere near the caliber these people were.  But…

The doors opened, and Jane ran her hand through her hair as she walked toward the café.  There was a small line at the counter but when her mother looked up there was a glint.  Yes, a glint in her eye that warned Jane.  It set off bells and set Jane’s senses tingling.  By the time Jane made it to the counter Angela had her coffee already poured and handed the cup to her daughter as Jane handed her the money.

“What, Ma?” Jane asked as she looked around and found that they had a small space and a little bit of privacy.  Jane pulled her cup to her lips and sipped sighing, closing her eyes at the caffeinated goodness. She nearly moaned aloud at the splendid sensation of the liquid snapping all her dulled wits back awake.

“I see you didn’t get home last night,” Angela said causing Jane to choke.  Angela smirked and grabbed a cloth and the disinfectant and went to bus tables bypassing Jane as the tall brunette made sure she didn’t have coffee spewed onto her shirt as she coughed in surprise of her mother’s greeting.

“What do you mean?  How would you know anyways?” Jane rambles recovering then walking right up to Angela whispering in a hiss. Angela only wiped the tables and took cups and plates back to the kitchen.  Jane was about to storm in the back after her mother, but Angela popped through the swinging galley door right into Jane.  There was a loud thump, ow, and then stunned silence.

“Oh sweetie,” Angela cried as she went back and brought out some ice for Jane’s cheek.  Angela walked Jane over to the table and made her daughter sit as she fussed over her eldest child with minimal complaint. 

“Ma,” Jane said as she reached up to Angela’s wrist and stopped her mother seeing the small grin on her apologetic face.

“I don’t think it will bruise for tonight, Janie, but you should keep that on there longer,” Angela said and then glanced around to the empty District One Café and sat next to her daughter, “I know you have not been home because you didn’t come down here and yell at me for your dress for tonight,” Angela said as she watched her daughter scoff.

“Ma, I wont yell,” Jane tried to argue but Angela gave her a look only a mother could give her child, “Much.  Look I’m sorry Ma.  Its just things are complicated,” Jane began.

“Well uncomplicate them!” Angela’s voice rose as she gestured with her hand in frustration, “Look honey, sometimes you are an idiot, but I love you any ways.  Dr. Isles…” Angela paused, and a small smile met her lips as she remembered there adventure yesterday.

“You like her a lot don’t you, Ma?” Jane asked softly looking down on her mother.  When she saw her mom and her best friend together, laughing in easy comfort of one another it made Jane’s heart warm and swell.  It was beyond beautiful watching her mom with Maura.  Jane saw the attachment as soon as Angela moved into the guesthouse.  Maura got a best friend, a few brothers, and now a mother.  Things she had always wanted.

“I love her like her was my own, Janie.  Its what Italian mothers do.  We love our children, both those we bore, and those we choose,” Angela stood and planned to walk away as she felt it was too much of a touchy-feely conversation for her tough as nails daughter. 

Jane reached out by Angela was already in the back and you could hear the water stray on the dishes for a quick wash.  Jane was met with silence.  The ambient noise of her mother washing dishes, the chatter in the lobby, and the electronics kicking off and on made her feel like her mother took with her all sound, all noise worth listening too.  Jane reached out for her cup of coffee, and her phone went off. She recognized the message tone and smiled, feeling a little giddy, and a rock settle in her stomach remembering the way she left Maura that morning, the message on her phone.

**Maura : You are sweet**

**Jane : Sometimes, I just didn’t want to wake you. Sleep has been hard for both of us to get and I wanted you to get as much sleep as possible.**

**Maura : Why is that?  Anything … strenuous planed for the evening?**

Jane looked down to her phone and blinked.  Her throat tightened, and the moisture fled from her mouth leaving it parched.  She knew Maura was a sexual creature.  Hell, she even had facts about hemoglobin A increasing or something like that.  Jane was used to the talks and words Maura used, but she had never been on the receiving end of the Doctor’s advances, or intentions.

**Jane : Flirt**

There she settled with that small cool response and was proud of herself as she sat there staring at the floor looking at her watch thinking about the case, and the ice on her cheek.  She felt the good old 15 minutes with ice, and 15 minutes without ice might do the trick, but she only ever did that with sprains.

“I am only a flirt when I feel comfortable,” came a voice from behind her.  Jane spun with the small pack on her face and she looked down to her phone, and then to the woman before her.  Jane clipped the phone to her belt and smiled to Maura.

“I’m glad you are comfortable with me,” Jane confessed.

“However, conversations about sex make you slightly uncomfortable,” Maura said as she walked toward Jane and stopped a professional distance from the brunette.  Jane saw Maura’s eyes flit to her lips and she couldn’t help but lick them unconsciously displaying her thoughts to Maura.  Then Maura’s eyes narrowed when she smiled with joy and mischief.

“I like making you slightly uncomfortable Jane,” Maura said as she walked to the counter to wait for Angela, “It’s a tremendous change from you always being in control,” Maura said as she turned when Angela walked from the back drying her hands on a towel.

“So, you want me out of control?” Jane asked not thinking, “To lose control?”  Maura still faced away from Jane.  If she could see the cinnamon blonde’s face she would have seen the blush travel up her neck, settle in her ears, the bite of her lower lips, and her hazel eyes widen as she glanced at Angela.  Angela stood stock still as her jaw dropped, and she shifted from one foot to the next. Finally, coffee in hand, Maura turned, and her eyes met Jane’s.  A look, one could call a smolder, but not quite to the level of desire, graced Maura’s features.  Jane felt every nerve ending in her body respond to that look, and she nearly melted.  Maura walked past the detective but paused at Jane’s side.  Maura looked up, Jane looked down, brown clashed with hazel.

“I only want what you can give me, and to lose what you feel comfortable with,” Maura bit her lips as her eyes slid once more to Jane’s lips. Maura blinked as if coming down from the clouds and stepped away from her friend and smiled professionally, cordially. Jane stood rooted to the floor. She finally looked up and saw her mother and her heart sped up as she realized her mother watched the entire encounter.  She turned around brought the cup to her lips, looking around at the people, looking as if she wasn’t staring at her friend, but watched Maura.

“You are in so much trouble,” Angela rasped next to her daughter looking at Maura as she walked into the elevator.  Jane’s shoulder tightened, her posture straightened, and then looked down to her mother for a fight, but when she saw her mother’s wide eyes she just couldn’t do it.

“Yeah,” Jane spoke as she sipped her coffee.

“I didn’t know it was that far Jane,” Angela said as she wrapped her arm around Jane’s waist.  The taller woman let her mother half embrace her.

“As far as what?” Jane asked seriously lost. 

“Janie, you looked at her like I have never seen you look at another person,” Angela swallowed and then looked away, “It was a look that made me thankful for you that I was the only one who was in this café when that conversation happened,” Angela looked up and found Jane’s concerned look and squeezed her daughters waist and then pushed on her back.

“Get to work.  You have a date, and you need to look your best,” Angela smiled as her daughter smiled back at her.

“Thanks Ma,” Jane said and then took the elevator up to the bullpen. Thoughts of Maura on her mind.

**_OOOoooOOOooo_ **

Maura woke as she shivered in her bed.  She was half on her stomach, half on her side at an odd angle with her hips firmly planted in the mattress face down but her torso was twisted as if she was curled around something. It was when her eyes opened, and she looked to the opposite side of the bed that she realized it was a pillow.  It was Jane’s pillow.  Maura held the pillow to her face and inhaled.  Her eyes fluttered shut as she took in the trace fragrance of her best friend. 

She stayed where she was remembering.  Their kiss, their second one, even though accidental yet again, was much more … wow, than the last.  Her mind worked as her body responded to the memories, and then took a breath and rolled over on to her back and threw an arm over her eyes.  One part of her felt elated to have shared the comfort of Jane’s presence in her bed, but another part made her swallow thickly with a heavy amount of shame.

Her dreams plagued her once more. Yet this time she was not being pinned or held hostage to witness Hoyt torture Jane before her very eyes.  No, last nights dreams were erotic, sensual, and almost forbidden.  She was not sure where she and Jane were in their relationship.  Yes, they more or less confirmed attraction to the other.  Yes, they more or less relied on the other.  But did they love each other?  Were they in love with each other? Maura was no fool.  She could answer both of those questions with 100% certainly of not breaking out into hives or stammering.  If asked if she wanted Jane, she would be able to say yes and not bat an eyelash. 

She was always very open with her sexuality, but oddly enough most of her partners were male.  She knew why.  Sometimes, you just needed release, someone to share one single moment of release with.  In her experience men did first asked questions later.  Which is one reason she sought women for more emotional comforts, but once she opened her mouth, once she spoke, she found them, both women and men running for the hills.  She sighed as she thought back to last night’s dream theater.

_Jane, it was always ever Jane in her thoughts, and her dreams.  She played for her again.  She played the piano, and Maura fell in love with the sound.  It was the same tune Jane played the night Jane played for her when she stopped by.  This time it wasn’t in an auditorium, but in Jane’s apartment.  This time there was not a tight black dress adorning Jane.  There was not an elegant dress clothing Maura’s frame.  They sat side by side bare to the world.  No barriers.  No walls. Just them, all of them, hearts and bodies displayed to the other in pure trust and acceptance._

_Jane’s hands played the keys of the piano as Maura’s fingers slid over Jane’s bare back up and down the taller woman’s spine. Both smiling and shuddering at the contact.  Maura once again knew this was a dream, so she took the initiative in her dreams that she wasn’t sure she could in real life.  She slid a hand up Jane’s side, barely brushing flesh and then cupped her cheek and gently pulled Jane to her lips.  Jane’s hands found her skin and she could swear her body ignited.  Their kiss deepened. Their bodies came together in a clutch of arms and lips as they sat with one another before the piano._

Maura woke up. Shivering from the heat her body felt from the effects of the dream. She rolled back over releasing the pillow she had not realized she still clutched in her hand.  The alarm blared at her, she hated that her sleep schedule was so erratic that she had to resort the abrupt beeping tone to rouse her on some of her more sleepless nights.  She was almost late once when the normal sound of calming meditation gongs and Buddhist chants didn’t wake her. 

She swiped the alarm on her lock screen and then opened the phone with her thumb on the reader.  She looked at the app that was open on the home screen and read.  Her eyes growing wide, a smile pulling at her lips as she read.

_Maura, I didn’t have a pen to write with, so I left you a note on this.  I hope you don’t mind.  I want you to know I didn’t leave this morning because I was scared, or running, or for some ‘Jane’ reason we could think of.  I really had some ideas about the case.  And I wanted to get in before I lost them._

_I wanted you to know that when I woke up here, beside you, I felt good.  I felt like something great happened.  I meant what I said I don’t want to be a nightmare for you.  As I watched you sleep for a few moments before I wrote you this, I hope you don’t think its weird or creepy, I realized I want to be someone who can chase away your demons and protect you from your nightmares.  I guess that’s all Maur.  I want to be here.  Here with you and for you.  I don’t know how to end one of these, so I will end it with a simple bye._

_Bye,  
Jane_

Maura lay there clutching the phone to her chest and sighed.  _Jane Rizzoli, you are such a charmer._

**OOOoooOOOooo**

She saw the detective in the café.  She stood to the side with her phone in her hand and shot a text as soon as she noticed her posture.  She was leaning, and Jane pressed something to her cheek.  She watched as Jane reached for the phone and their conversation began.  She waited with a tilt of her head for Jane’s response to her rather risqué text.  When she looked down at her response she simply smiled.  Her fearless Jane was always a little shy, and she took a twisted delight in teasing the woman. She softly approached the woman, hoping her heels didn’t sound as she walked to the café.

“I am only a flirt when I feel comfortable,” Maura spoke toward Jane not wanting to touch her or freak her out.  She knew better than most that Hoyt and his terror placed her in a constant state of hypervigilance.  When Jane spun around she was met those eyes.  She hoped she didn’t show her nervousness as part of her dream flashed before her, those eyes captivated her in those visions, and she found life felt so much more intense.

When Jane replied she liked she was comfortable with Jane, Maura nearly melted on the spot, but she was the unflappable Maura Isles, Medical Examiner, and Google rolled into one.  When she approached Jane and told her that she liked Jane out of control she saw Jane’s eyes dilate, she saw the pulse in her throat jump, and her breathing hitch.  No one else would have noticed, but she knew Jane.  And she wondered if she went to far. 

When she told Jane she only wanted what Jane could give her, and to lose what Jane feel comfortable losing she almost choked back her words, asked for the brunette to forget them.  Then she met Jane’s gaze and felt like a fire consumed her. She slapped on the façade of Dr. Isles and smiled at her friend and walked to the elevators before she did something stupid, something brave, something she wasn’t quite sure she was ready for.

When she finally made it to her office she hung her coat, and purse, then sat in her chair as if it were any regular day.  However, it wasn’t.  Today was the day she went on the date with Jane.  Today was the day she and Jane would begin to wade in deeper waters of their relationship.  Today was the day everything would change.  She picked up her phone and sent on more text to her friend.  She would pick up Jane at 7pm sharp at Jane’s apartment.  She smiled when she got a message almost immediately confirming the time.  Now all she had to do was wait.  Wait for the evening to come, and their course from then on to change.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im not teasing. I swear, its just that I am not feeling great, and I dont know when the next update will be. I promise to get the date in the next chapter, we are one it right now, cant back out. Thanks for sticking with me.

Jane, Korsak, and Frost all settled that Frost would go undercover, and Frost was at the crime scene least and people might not recognize him or not even remember him.  As for Frost, he liked the idea because Jane was going to the show tonight, unarmed, and he wanted to be there with an extra gun just in case.  He always felt that danger clung to her like a wet blanket, and she needed as much backup as possible. 

Korsak watched Jane all day.  He saw her hands fidget, and her eyes take a far away look.  Just when you thought she wasn’t listening, or she was not thinking about the case she would pop in with a brilliant idea, or a possibility.  Vince knew she was distracted, but he was wonderfully surprised at her capacity to juggle the case and her personal like.  It was around 2pm when Frost went to the BBC for his new ‘job,’ and Jane and Korsak were left in the bullpen looking at Jane’s note from the morning.

“This is good work Jane.  You think Frost might be able to overhear something?” Korsak asked as he touched her sticky notes inspecting each note and possibility closely.  They didn’t take it down, even though Frost said he can put pinpoints on the map that was projected on the big screen monitor. Jane shrugged, but Korsak objected.  He said it was sometimes nice to have an old school feel to the job.  It was something he could relate to.  Jane smiled, and Frost shrugged and went about his business. 

Later when they contacted the Boston Ballet Company CEO to confirm with him Barry’s involvement he immediately let Barry Frost on set as a set assistant. The change would be a lot more enticing to Barry. He would play a quiet a film and theater student and could shadow for a few weeks how a ballet stage was run. This new development allowed Frost to be all over the stage, in the auditorium, and behind the scenes and no one would be the wiser. 

“Jane, take the rest of the day,” Korsak said.

“Vince, I can’t leave. My shift isn’t over with,” Jane argued, but Korsak smiled.

“It is if you are going undercover tonight as well,” Korsak responded with a wink.  Jane smiled up at the man and shook her head.  She stood, grabbed her blazer and grasped his shoulder.

“Thanks,” she turned but Korsak called to her.

“Don’t be nervous Jane.  You already got the worst part over with,” Korsak said with a smile on his face.

“Oh, and what’s that?” Jane asked with a tilt to her head.

“Finding out if you actually like one another.  Just go to the show, be normal, and be together.  If something happens it happens,” Korsak advised.  Jane could only smile and nod her head in thanks. She was on her way out when Maura bumped into her on the way out of the elevator.  They paused smiled shyly at the other.

“I have some more on the tox reports,” Maura said and Jane’s eyes shifted to the file, “Were you leaving?”

“Yeah, Korsak told me to get ready. I guess he thought I was nervous or something,” Jane said half joking.

“Are you?” Maura asked.

“Do I need to be?” Jane asked in response. 

“Well…” Maura tilted her head and then smiled, “I don’t believe so,” Maura then looked to Jane and then to the bull pen.  “Do I need to be nervous?” Maura asked.  Jane’s warm smile shined down on her and instantly she felt at ease and knew without a doubt that no matter what happened it would be ok.

“Never,” Jane whispered, “Never be nervous with me Maur.  I already…” Jane paused as she reevaluated her words, “I already love spending time with you,” Jane then nodded to herself as if it was the right thing to say because Maura’s smile grew, and Jane could only want to make that wide smile apart of Maura’s daily life.  She wanted to bring that smile to Maura’s lips every chance she got. Maura walked to Korsak with the file when Jane called out.

“Anything I need to know about?” Jane asked.

“Not really, only that she had been drinking, and her stomach contents had chocolate, gram crackers, and marshmallows mixed with charcoal,” Maura watched as Jane smiled and shook her head, “Yes, Jane, I know what a smore is,” Maura then shook her head, “I’m still trying to find how she ingested the Oleander,” Maura told Jane.

“You will find it Maur.  You always do,” Jane reached out and shook Maura’s hand and smiled.  Both women took only a moment before Maura blinked back to reality and then smiled as she turned from Jane to give Korsak her findings. Jane sighed as she walked into the elevator as it opened a few moments later.  When she hit the lobby, she saw her mother.  They looked at each other, and Angela grabbed her coat, her shift over as well as she took the early one.

“Ma,” Jane said in greeting as Angela stepped in time with her daughter.  The woman followed the brunette to her car.  Jane turned around.

“Can I help you?” Jane asked irritated.

“No, but I can help you,” Angela said as she slid into the car.  Jane blinked and then slid behind the wheel of her car, “How do you figure that?”

“I know what you are wearing, and you are going to want my help, hon,” Angela said and looked forward.  Jane took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  She closed her eyes.  Her mental mantra of not committing matricide filling her thoughts and then opened them.

“Why do you think you can help?” Jane asked rebelliously as she turned the key in the ignition.

“Because I can do your hair,” Angela replied simply. 

“Ma, this isn’t senior prom,” Jane gritted as she gripped the steering wheel tightly.  Angela simply sat there in the car, silently smiling. Jane let the quirk go.  Her mother could help her…. Yeah right.  When they opened the door to Jane’s apartment Jane’s gaze immediately went to the dress.  Her eyes wide, and her jaw dropped. 

“Ma,” Jane whispered, “I need your help,” Jane spoke softer than her whisper.  Angela only grinned in victory.  Jane however felt her stomach knot, and then fill with bees.  Butterflies in her opinion would have meant a gentler description of the sensation she felt.  No, in this instance she felt like her guts where being stung by thousands of bees.  Nerves took over and Jane slumped on a stool eyeing the dress.  Then she looked to her mom.

“Maura helped you, didn’t she?” Jane asked.

“Yes,” Angela said her smile slipped.

“Did she pay for it?” Jane asked as she looked at the gorgeous emerald dress hanging in her living room.

“No honey, but she did help me find a good cut, and great color for you, and cheap,” Angela watched her daughter.

“Ok,” Jane rasped and then looked at her mother, “Ill pay you back Ma,” Jane said as she looked back to the dress.

“Oh Jane,” Angela slid over to her daughter and placed a hand on Jane’s shoulder, “Don’t worry about it.  I loved shopping for you, honey,” Angela smiled down to her daughter.  Jane looked into her mother’s eyes and saw truth.  Besides, Angela always wanted to put Jane in dresses.  It was the first time though that Jane was speechless.

“How much time do we have?” Angela said as she rolled up her sleeves.

“She said she would pick me up at 7 sharp,” Jane said as she stood and began pacing.  She looked around at the state of her apartment.  She wasn’t messy by any standards, but Maura was almost OCD in her cleanliness.  Jane groaned.

“Go shower, I will take care of this,” Angela said as she saw her daughter begin to get overwhelmed.  Jane smiled and ran to the shower.

“Oh Honey, don’t forget to shave!” Angela shouted.

“MA!!” Jane yelled back embarrassed.  Angela snickered and quickly began to tidy the clutter.  Everything was wonderful in the universe, or at least Angela’s.

OOOoooOOOooo

Maura left not long after Jane did. She didn’t have much to do but she wanted to look perfect tonight.  When she stepped out of her shower and looked in the mirror she clutched the towel about her body just a little tighter as she saw her reflection.  Her dreams always had her and Jane together whether they were nightmares, or moments of bliss.  Maura’s eyes closed as her fingertips slid to her lips as she remembered the kiss they shared last night.  As she replayed the moment over and over in her thoughts, it was not accidental is was simply magnetic. 

They had been tip toeing about their attraction for one another for who knows how long.  To Maura, it had always been there.  Always present in the background.  The touches, the embraces, and the emotional support, they had always been together in one way or another.  Maura opened her eyes and saw her usually bright hazel eyes, shine back at her deeper, and veiled with a nervous shimmer.  She placed her hand on her stomach as she felt her intestines seem to flip in her abdomen. She shook her head from her thoughts and grabbed her hair dryer.  As she styled her hair, twisted, and curled, she smiled as she imagined Jane’s face when she saw her later.  When she finished applying her make up she walked back into the bed room and into her closet.  She grabbed her attire for the evening, and her smile grew into a smirk.  Jane was going to flip.  She pulled matching heals and a clutch from her collection, and then looked at the clock.  Right on time.

She drove to Jane’s. and miraculously didn’t hit one bit of heavy traffic.  She made excellent time, so she grabbed her phone.

“Siri, where is there a florist near me?” Maura said into her phone.  Believe it or not she hated using the thing, she wanted to do her own research but for once the convenience and the lack of time made the use to Siri a godsend.

“Bob’s Blossoms.  3.7 miles north northwest.  Turn right in 300 feet…” Maura smiled as she followed her phones instructions.  She found parking easily at Bob’s and walked in.  She inhaled and smiled.  She loved the fragrance of flowers, she just felt them fleeting in their lifespan, and because of this she always treated flowers with reverence and care.  They didn’t have long to let their beauty shine, and in Maura’s opinion it was a perfect metaphor for the life of a human.  She walked the rather wonderful collection of flowers and spotted exactly what she wanted. She grabbed the single flower and walked to the counter.

“That all Miss?” asked the florist, and Maur nodded with a smile and pulled a 10$ from her clutch.

“Keep the change,” Maura chimed as she took the flower and walked to her car. 

When she drove back to Jane’s she looked at her clock and it was 6:56 and she grinned brightly.  She just loved when plans worked out perfectly. She walked from her car across the street and clicked her car alarm and heard it chirp behind her.  She walked the stairs to Jane’s apartment and as soon as she put her first step in the building she felt her muscles tense nervously as each inch Maura made to Jane’s apartment meant the beginning of something… different.

Maura lifted her hand to knock on the door and she smiled as she heard Angela in the background shouting to the door.  She heard steps coming toward the door, and she straightened her posture, and placed her clutch under her arm, and held the flower in her hand. Angela opened the door, and Maura smiled brightly as the woman looked her up and down from the top of her head to the points of her heels. 

“You look…” Angela’s jaw stayed open, and then she moved to the side to let the doctor in.  Maura took in the apartment, noticed it only slightly cleaner.  Jane wasn’t messy by any means.  Maura’s eyes slid over to the piano.  She walked slowly in the apartment taking in everything as she usually did, but her feet took her to the piano.  Dreams could be such a wonderful catalyst for the waking world.  She placed her palm on the piano. She heard the footsteps before she heard the gasp.  Maura turned. 

“Oh my,” Maura blinked when her eyes landed on Jane.  Her words were early spoken, but everyone heard them.  Angela faded into the background of the kitchen, so she didn’t disturb the moment, and Jane stood stock still looking at Maura, eyes devouring Maura.  Then Jane looked to her dress, and then to Maura’s…

“I never knew you could look so gorgeous in a pants suit doctor,” Jane rasped as she stepped forward.  Jane reached out and took Maura’s trim between her fingers as she looked back to her dress, “We match,” Jane said and smiled at the effort it took to coordinate their wardrobe. Maura took Jane’s hand in her own.

“It wasn’t on purpose until I saw this divine suit,” Maura bit her lip and looked into Jane’s nearly black eyes, “I wanted to do something different for you,” Maura whispered, “Especially since you wore a dress for this occasion, I figured I could wear…” Maura was stopped when Jane placed her index finger against her lips stopping her stammering.

“You look perfect,” Jane said as she shifted closer to Maura, as if their bodies simply pulled them together as if gravity sucked them closer.  Maura pulled her thoughts back to the present and blindly lifted her hand and presented the Bird of Paradise to Jane.  Jane looked to the flower and her gaze softened, and Maura could breathe yet again once Jane’s eyes broke away to look at the plant.

“It’s a…” Maura began.

“Bird of Paradise,” Jane finished with a smile, as she looked to Maura, “Its one of my favorites.”

“Why?” Maura asked as she stepped from Jane and looked for a pair of scissors, which magically appeared on the counter top with a vase, the only vase in the apartment with fresh water in it.  Maura looked up and Angela stood as quiet as a church mouse in the kitchen with a smile on her face that spoke volumes.  The older Rizzoli simply winked as Maura smiled back at her and turned to cut the long stem to place the flower in the vase.

“It looks like a bird Maur.  How cool is that for a flower,” Jane chuckled, and Maura felt the tension in the air ebb and release.  She laughed with her friend. 

“In some cultures when you are given this flower,” Maura snipped the stem and placed it in the water, “It means faithfulness, and thoughtfulness,” Maura stopped their as she turned to Jane and saw the detective simply tilt her head waiting.  Jane took Maura’s fingers in her own.

“You forgot love,” Jane said, and Maura’s throat caught, “in the language of the flowers it represents faithfulness, thoughtfulness, and love,” Jane said stunning Maura, and out of the corner of Maura’s eyes saw movement, and discerned that it was Angela’s hand lifting to her mouth in just as much surprise. Jane gave Maura her arm and they began to walk toward the door.

“Ma, find your way back home please,” Jane said louder to the woman in the kitchen, but never took her eyes from Maura. 

Maura blinked as she watched Jane’s free hand slide to the left and grasp a wrap.  They walked through the door, didn’t even bother locking it because Angela had to leave.  Maura was in a slight daze as they walked to her car.  For a split second she wanted to do something gallant and chivalrous like open Jane’s door, but the detective was already at her car door, and opened the door for her. It was a shift, a ground quaking shift, and as soon as Jane slipped into the passenger seat Maura turned on the ignition.  Emboldened by Jane’s words about love, she clasped Jane’s hand.  Jane looked to Maura and Maura took a risk.  She dove into the deepest waters she had ever ventured into.  She brought Jane’s hand to her lips.  Instead of kissing the knuckles of her hand she placed her lips in a feather light touch to the scar on the top of Jane’s hand.  She dare not look at Jane, she dare not see the emotion in Jane’s eyes.  She could not look over and see what her uncharacteristic actions had done to the woman.  She was not ready to witness any of those possibilities. She heard Jane’s breathing hitch and felt the woman grasp Maura’s hand tightly when Maura’s lips brushed over the one terror Jane believed that could never be healed.  She knew, innately, Maura knew she changed the trajectory of their evening with that simple action.  She just hoped she didn’t screw anything up, she loved her friend to damned much.


	11. Chapter 11

Jane couldn’t believe that Maura stood in her apartment in an exquisite white suit with emerald trim, emerald heals, and her hair down, and flowing slightly wild.  Jane found their role reversals quite refreshing.  She let her self-feel, and allowed herself to live in the moment, take it all in.  Take in the effort Maura had gone through.  In retrospect Maura in 2 days had done more for this one date than any one has ever done for her in the past.  Maura tried for Jane, and Jane loved it, she absolutely adored it.  When she saw the look in Maura’s eyes, the slight parting in Maura’s lips as she saw Jane, the detective knew this night would change everything for them.  Before it was a feeling, now it was certainty. 

Maura had treated her equally, she met Jane move for move in their little ritual of hello they had just gone through, and not for one moment was Jane uncomfortable.  She was nervous as hell yes, but not uncomfortable.  When Maura took her hand in the car, Jane smiled because she thought it would have been a gesture of thanks for opening her door, treating her right, and good.

Nope.  As Maura’s lips slid over her scared hand, kissed the rough and elevated skin that marred her flesh, her heart stopped, her breathing seemed as if it was sucked from her, and she felt a sensation shoot from her heart to her core.  The gesture was so innocent, so loving, but to Jane the action shot through her a wave of soft desire.  It was as if that desire was a caress on the insides of Jane’s soul.  When Maura didn’t look at her, she knew the cinnamon blonde was just as unsettled by the move as Jane had been. 

Jane closed her eyes, looked out the windshield and prayed she could control herself this evening, because if Maura pulled another move like that, she would not be held accountable for her actions, whether they would be sweetly chaste, or unhinged passion. Throughout all her thoughts, her inner turmoil, she never let go of Maura’s hand.  She grasped it like a lifeline.  It was when she took a deep breath and looked down to the hands in her lap, that she realized Maura held her just as tightly as Jane held her.

“What will we be seeing?” Jane asked trying to smooth out some of the sexual tension in the car.

“Sleeping Beauty,” Maura said as she let go to turn the wheel, but her hand found Jane’s immediately.  It made Jane smile. “It was the earliest show I could get on notice, and decent seats,” Maura explained looking over at Jane with a smirk.

“I’m happy with Sleeping Beauty Maura.  It’s different for me, hell going to the ballet is different for me, but I would love to try and see how this goes,” Jane said but squeezed Maura’s hand.  At the red light, Maura looked over to Jane and saw the double meaning behind her words.  Maura was about to speak when a horn blared behind her. She smiled and continued driving.

When they pulled up to a different building other than the auditorium from yesterday Jane looked over to Maura as she paid for parking.

“Maur, why aren’t we going to the other place?  Ya know, the auditorium from yesterday?” Jane asked looking around at the different setting.

“I’m very sure they didn’t want the performers distracted by the closed balcony, and the fact that someone they knew had died where they danced.  Takes a different meaning to dancing on someone’s grave wouldn’t it?” Maura explained.

“No kidding,” Jane sighed as they pulled into the parking spot. 

Jane opened her door, and then walked around the car.  Maura was out of the car before she could open her door, and Jane smiled when Maura took Jane’s arm and led them to where they had to be.  The admittance staff scanned her phone for her online tickets, and then Maura walked her and Jane toward a grand stairway.  Jane looked at Maura as she began to climb.  Jane hated heels, and hated walking in heels, much less climbing in heels but as Maura let go of Jane’s arm her hand slipped into Jane’s larger and they smiled to the other.  Once to the top of the stairway, Maura then led them down into another section.  When they walked into the area Maura explained they were to sit, Jane looked around amazed.  Balcony seats.  Jane could see everything, the orchestra, the stage, and even the way the lighting hits certain areas of the hall.  Jane looked around at everything with a detective’s eye never noticing Maura calmly sitting there next to her, reading the program, and from time to time looking over to the excited woman. 

Jane finally settled back and placed her hands over her stomach fingers laced together, with a huge smile on her face.

“I don’t care what we watch this is already awesome,” Jane said to Maura.  Jane finally looked over to her friend and saw the other woman watching her, head resting on her hand grinning at the brunette.  Immediately Jane was self-conscious.

“What?” Jane asked defensively straightening her posture and looked down at her hands.

“I have never seen you so excited before,” Maura then laughed as she shifted, “Excited over something that was not a Red Sox game I mean,” Maura laughed when she saw Jane nod in confirmation.

“Well, I have never been to a place like this, on a date before,” Jane twiddled her thumbs nervously, “I usually go out for drinks, maybe dinner.  Nothing fancy, just talking,” Jane said explaining her dating history.

“You do realize we could have done just that if this is something you would have preferred to have done on a second date?” Maura asked.  Jane’s gaze found Maura’s.

“You want a second date?” Jane asked.  Maura reached over to Jane’s hands and laced them with Jane’s fidgeting fingers. 

“I want a second, a third, a thirtieth,” Maura lowered her voice and leaned into Jane and whispered into Jane’s ear, “I want to date you Jane.  I want so very much more than one evening with you,” Maura leaned back from whispering into Jane’s ear.  Jane was left speechless.  Jane didn’t know that.  She knew Maura felt strongly about her, but she didn’t know that Maura wanted more than a single date, a trial run, with Jane.  Jane swallowed as hazel eyes bore into her own.  Maura wanted so much more than Jane had given to anyone else.  Maura wanted a possibility, Maura wanted a future. Jane swallowed and clasped Maura’s hand entwining their fingers.

“Maura…” Jane was cut off, but the lights dimmed, and the show began. 

From the moment the first curtain lifted Jane was mesmerized.  She watched and took it all in.  She fell into the story, she gasped when lifts, and spins were executed as if the dancers could fly. She smiled in joy, and stifled tears as the grace and beauty became too much.  Jane had never had such an emotional experience from simply watching people dance.  It was crazy, it was wonderful.  Jane loved it.

OOOoooOOOooo

Maura’s heart beat in her throat as she said those words to Jane and saw what looked like hope in Jane’s eyes.  Jane watched everything on the stage.  Maura had seen Sleeping Beauty before, and was not as thrilled as Jane, so she watched the detective more than the dancers.  Jane sat on the edge of her seat in some instances especially when the dances became more physically demanding.  Maura felt her lips pull into a smile when she watched her friend gasp and point like a little girl.  It was the most unguarded, and innocent, even carefree, she had ever seen Jane. 

She had a feeling that Jane’s tough façade was nothing more than that, a mask, a character she chooses to play so she can be one of the boys in squad.  Maura had that inkling when Jane danced with her, then let Maura lead her.  Maura often wondered if Jane wouldn’t just like someone to take over, or take control, or lead if not for once in a while.  She was always leading her team, and being a role model for Frankie, and even handling Angela’s crazy antics and taking care of her.  The world seemed to sit firmly on Jane’s shoulders as if she were the mighty Atlas.  But her Jane was simply human, simply one person, and simply a woman who rarely let’s go, and is just that, simple.  Even baseball games are complicated and serious. 

When the lights came back on and the cast took their bows Maura smile as Jane sprang to her feet applauding just like the rest of the audience.  Maura stood next to Jane and watched loving the fact that she was able to give this moment to her friend.  Maura and Jane sat back down and waited for the crowd to thin out and gave Jane a moment to gather her thoughts from her excitement. 

“Wow,” Jane breathed grinning from ear to ear.  Maura let the woman take her hand as Jane stood clearly indicating it was time to get moving.  “That was more fun that I thought it was going to be,” Jane jabbered honestly.

“I am happy you like it,” Maura said as she walked with Jane’s hand in the crook of her arm as they took the stairs down. 

“I would love to come back again,” Jane mused contentedly as she slipped into the passenger seat buckling up.  Then Jane took out her phone and texted someone then put her phone down. Maura lifted an eyebrow as she began to reverse from her parking spot.

“I want Frost to check on one the dancers.  She looked like Corrine Little.  I didn’t know she was a dancer.  She didn’t say anything about it,” Jane told Maura.  Maura stared at Jane for a moment, then blinked as she began to merge with traffic and drove her date home.

“I didn’t know you were working,” Maura said casually.  Truthfully it rather hurt that Jane had used their date as an in to the Ballet to work.  It stung rather painfully.  Maura lost in her thoughts felt Jane’s hand on her arm. When she came to a red light she didn’t look at Jane, but the woman squeezed Maura’s arm getting her attention.

“I wasn’t.  I promise, but it’s something I couldn’t pass up.  I wanted to text Frost immediately, but then the scene changed, and I told myself to do it later,” Jane bit her lips, “I also only wanted to spend time with just you.  Share that with just you,” Jane’s voice lowered as she tried to explain to Maura and the doctor took a breath and then nodded.

“I suppose I would have don’t the same thing,” Maura said beginning to understand.  Then Jane’s hand slid down her arm and took her hand.  Maura smiled as she lightly pressed the gas pedal trying not to plunge the car forward in her kneejerk reaction to the sensation she felt run through her body at Jane’s hand in hers.

“Thank you, Maur,” Maura heard and then another red light caught them, and it was a shock, right there on her right cheek.  Her head spun, and brushed Jane’s lips.  The energy in the car surged.  Maura watched as that pink tongue peeked out and wet Jane’s lips, both leaned slowly.

BEEEP!!

Maura jumped back and looked forward, both hands on the wheel as the car horn behind them blared at her to move.  Her breathing fast and erratic.  She drove forward, maybe a little under the speed limit, but she drove.  She glanced over and saw Jane’s chest heaving in shallow pants as well.  They glanced at one another. Then away, then back to the other. 

In an instant both women were in stitches.  Laughter rang out in the car, and Jane waved her hand trying to breathe.  Maura’s eyes watered as she slowly pulled off to the right road toward Jane’s apartment. 

“Your face,” Jane tried to say. 

“My face, you couldn’t breathe,” Maura wheezed as her laughter almost prevented her from speaking.  After a few miles of chuckles, their breathing eased, and the air in the car was less charged, Maura placed her hand on Jane’s arm.

“Thank you for allowing me to take you on a date.  I had so much fun with you tonight,” Maura said truly happy.

“Are you ending the date before we even get to my apartment?” Jane’s eyes twinkled at the question.  Maura didn’t know what to say, so she let her lips curl into a light smile as she shook her head.

“No, I just wanted you to know I liked doing this with you,” Maura finally found words.  They were not elegant, or classy, but they were the truth.

Finally, they parked, finally they made it to Jane’s door, but that spark was back.  They stood in front of Jane’s door. Nerves prevented them from moving, prevented them from continuing.

“I’m nervous Maura,” Jane whispered, as Jane finally unlocked her door, and opened it.

“I am too Jane,” Maura confessed as she walked in and turned when the lights came on, and she turned to watch Jane triple lock her door and lean her back against it.  Maura couldn’t get over how Jane sometimes seemed to deflate when she realized she was safe from the big bad world.  Safe from Hoyt, safe from muggers… safe from Maura’s father. She wanted to make Jane safe, make her feel appreciated, and loved, and cared for.

With that last thought Maura walked over to Jane slowly and took the woman’s hand pulling her over to the couch.  Jane sat down at Maura’s insistence.  Jane protested when Maura walked back to the kitchen motioning for Jane to remain where she was.  Maura opened the freezer and took out two pints of frozen yogurt that Jane kept there just for Maura.  When Maura walked over to Jane she watched Jane’s eyes brow lifted. 

When Jane took her first bite, she merely moaned when she closed her eyes as the creamy substance began to slide down her throat.  Maura smiled as she sat on the coffee table in front of Jane and reached down to Janes ankle and lifted the heeled feet onto her thighs.  Jane’s eyes popped open as she glanced toward Maura.  Maura took an elegant bite from her own pint and Jane smiled as Maura’s eyes lit up slightly and took a slightly larger bite than the last.  Then Maura put the snack down.  Maura began to unbuckle the straps to the heels on Jane’s feet. 

Maura slowly slipped the shoes off Jane’s feet and smiled when Jane sighed, grinning.  Maura looked down at the sore feet.  She knew Jane was sore, she walked slower, her strides not as long and commanding.  Then she slipped off her suit coat and rolled up her sleeves.  

Maura closed her eyes as she heard the moan slip from Jane’s lips as she ran her thumbs up the middle of Jane’s aching feet.  From the heel to the ball of her feet Maura applied pressure, dug in, massaged the ache that made Jane uncomfortable.  She finished with the first foot, and then took the other one in her hands and then looked up at Jane.  Dark eyes watched Maura.  Jane’s long frame was practically draped before her, sitting languid, so relaxed she slid an elegant arm behind her over the back of the couch above her head relaxed.

Maura could only think of this moment, but Jane in this posture in bed lounging on pillows.  Maura squeezed and ran her thumbs up and out eliciting another sensual moan from Jane.  Maura looked back to Jane and saw Jane’s eyes closed biting her lower lip to keep from moaning again.  Moans may not have come but small whimpers did, and Maura delighted in being able to milk those sound from Jane.

Once done Maura stood and slipped out of her own heals, she needed them to hold Jane’s feet level to work on, and then sat next to Jane facing her on the couch.  Jane sighed, and a Cheshire cat smile grew on her lips.  Then her lips fell into a slight frown.

“Maur, what is love?” Jane rasped out into the space of the apartment.  Maura flinched, she was not ready for such a conversation, was not expecting such a question from the ever-stoic woman.

“I… I don’t know, Jane,” Maura replied not lying but not entirely truthful. She had her own definition of love, she had her own standards or guidelines of what love is and how someone should or could love her. Jane met every standard and guideline, and then some.

“What is love in your scientific google definition?” Jane asked as she rolled her head to look at Maura and the doctor sighed.  How in hell was she supposed to answer that.  Then her mind flicked into stuffy scientist.

“Well, scientifically speaking, hormones act on numerous systems within the brain and receptors are present in a number of brain areas associated with romantic love. These receptors are triggered, and we experience ‘love,’” Maura said using air quotes around the word love.  She watched Jane as she dipped her spoon into her pint, then placed the lid back on the carton and placed the container on the table. 

“No, that’s not it,” Jane said as she stood stretching realigning her back with small pops and shook out her legs and smiled as she stood on her toes.

“What do you mean?” Maura inquired watching Jane flex and shift her muscles.  Jane looked back as she headed to the kitchen, deposited the treat back in the freezer, then headed toward the bed room and simply smiled to Maura and shrugged going into the room. Maura heard the shower run, the shower curtain scrape on the shower rod.  Maura listened as she envisioned everything Jane was going.  She followed as she read drawers slam shut.

Maura followed Jane’s path to the freezer and deposited her own dessert then Maura walked into the bedroom. She looked at the bed and saw her own pajamas she kept there just for emergencies laying on the bed.  Maura smiled as she looked over to the dark headed woman wrapped up in a towel and took them to the bathroom.  Maura hopped into the shower. She scrubbed off her makeup, washed out the mouse and hairspray.  She brushed her teeth with her own guest toothbrush that Jane kept just for Maura.  When she walked back out into the room Jane was laying on her back fingers drumming on her abdomen as she read.

Maura walked to the other side of the bed and settled in the bed next to Jane.  Jane smiled, dogeared the page, and smiled when Maura rolled her eyes.  Maura knew Jane knew she hated it when she did that to pages.  Maura and Jane lay there next to the other both staring at the ceiling, then Maura felt Jane’s hand cover her own under the blankets.  Then Jane released her hand.  The light turned out.  Maura felt the bed shift as Jane rolled onto her side facing away from Maura. 

“Your definition, it’s not it because I feel so much more than that,” Jane whispered away from Maura.  Maura wanted to reach out, to shake the woman, to hold the woman.  But when Jane is like this, when Jane is feeling deeply, one simply can’t rush her.  But Maura’s heart hammered in her chest.  She was still technically on a date with Jane but her heart, her soul, and insecurities screamed that this was not real, it couldn’t be happening.

“About who?” Maura’s voice pitched and then she cleared her throat, “Who do you feel like that about?” Maura said softly trying not to scare the detective from her.  Hoping…. Hoping….

OOOoooOOOooo

“You,” Jane’s eyes clenched shut.  Too much, too fast she told herself.  Sure, she had the woman, no partner whether female or male in her bed, waiting for her.  She waited, listened to Maura’s breathing and part of her fell to the floor, dropped and shattered to the hard wood floors.

The bed moved. A body shifted. Arms slid over Jane’s ribs, around her waist and a warm soft body pressed into her back.  Jane took one of Maura’s hands and laced their fingers together.  For Jane it was enough. Maura didn’t run, Maura stayed with her.

For Maura it was almost too much as she let silent tears fall to the pillow. Maura loved Jane, but she never thought that Jane would love her back.

“Can you hold me?” Jane asked as she linked their fingers together. Jane swallowed at her weakness, and her vulnerability.  Then she felt Maura pull her back to the center of the bed.  Wrap her arms around her tightly.  She felt Maura’s lips kiss her shoulder blade where her skin was not covered by her tank top.  Jane’s eyes squeezed shut, as Maura’s lips slipped and slid from her shoulder blade to her neck.  The hair on her arms stood as Maura pressed her entire body against Jane, pulling Jane into her arms tightly.

“I will never let go,” Maura whispered in her ear.  Jane sighed as Maura wrapped around her, held her protected her.

“Thank you,” Jane’s voice thick. Maura simply soothed the hair from Jane’s temple and curled into her.

“Jane?” Maura asked, and Jane could hear the hesitancy in her tone, “I feel so much more too.”

Jane squeezed Maura's fingers showing Maura she was heard.  Both women took deep sighs. Sleep claimed them.  Sleep transported them both to each other in their dreams. For tonight this was enough.  For tonight this was a perfect conclusion to a perfect evening.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is teetering into a light Mature rating, but not explicit. Be warned.

Blinking, fearing that when her eyes opened it would have all been a dream. The room is dark, the bed is not her own, and she turns over glaring at the red numbers.  2:42am.  She reached out with her hand and felt the sheets, the pillow.  Cold.  Her stomach pitched into her heart as she flew up as if she was spring loaded.  Her eyes ran throughout the room, then she saw the door cracked. A beam of orange light bled into the room.  Maura crawled over the bed, and tip toed to the door. 

As her hand pulled on the door knob the panel slowly opened and so did the rest of her senses.  She could finally hear the sounds in the apartment, and her eyes narrowed as she looked to the source of the noise.  Maura leaned on the door way watching.  Jane, oh her perfect Jane, sat on the bench at her piano and her fingers played those black and white keys, just fumbling around.  Maura dare not move, she was afraid to break the magic of this moment. 

Maura smiled as Jane began to trip over some old classics, contemporary favorites.  Maura watched as Jane, eyes closed, swayed back and forth to the song she played.  Maura swallowed and then softly walked forward.

****_My heart was wrapped up clover the night I looked at you_  
I found a dream that I could speak to  
A dream that I can call my own 

Maura sang toward the piano player and when Jane smiled but didn’t open her eyes Maura smiled back as she continued slowly forward.

****_I found a thrill to press my cheek to_  
A thrill I've never known, oh yeah  
You smiled, you smiled oh and then the spell was cast 

Jane’s smile grew when Maura came closer singing the lyrics to _At Last by Etta James_.  Maura’s voice wavered as her nerves took over her talent, which in her account was not much.  Jane swayed as she played and listened to Maura walking toward her.  Maura knew Jane was playing to her speed, but the woman’s feet simply had a mind of her own.  Her hands and arms were not connected to her brain as Maura walked still singing and then paused.  Jane sat in front of her, swaying playing the ivory keys.  Maura took a deep breath and then sang.

**_And here we are in Heaven  
For you are mine at last_ **

Maura’s body pressed to the back of Jane as her hands slid over the detective’s strong solders, and then leaned down as her arms cradled the woman to her.  Maura took another risk.  She couldn’t believe her body did not follow her commands when her lips pressed to Jane’s cheek.  She felt Jane smile wider, and then the sound of the piano stopped as Jane’s fingers wrapped around Maura’s arms.  After a moment Maura was pulled forward, awkwardly. Maura sat on the bench beside Jane.  Jane looked down into Maura’s hazel orbs, and then she leaned in and pulled Maura’s lips against hers.  It was sweet, it was gentle, and it was completely and utterly divine. Maura’s mind finally kicked into overdrive and she pushed slightly on Jane’s shoulders, dislodging her lips only to rest her head to Jane’s forehead.

“You have got to be a dream,” Maura murmured wishing herself to wake up.  This was just too painful, to have her here in Jane’s apartment after the night she had with the gorgeous woman on the piano bench.

“You dream of me like this then?” Jane asked in her raspy voice that sent a shiver, a very noticeable quake, through Maura. 

“All the time,” Maura shook her head, eyes closed.  Usually her dreams don’t talk to her, well much, but there was a first time for everything. Maura’s lips twitched as Jane’s hot breath ghosted across her lips.  Maura swallowed and slowly shook her head.

“You are a dream,” Maura whimpered. 

She only had time to get out her statement before Maura’s lips where taken once more.  A hand slid behind Maura’s head and pulled her firmer to Jane.  After a moment Maura pulled from those seeking glorious lips. Then Jane slightly opened her mouth.  Some inner sight told Maura Jane slightly parted her lips.  Maura flicked her tongue out.  She tasted, she opened Jane’s lips further, then tasted deeper, the detective let her test her flavor, tease herself.  It was the same moment as a hot wet tear slid down her cheek, when Maura slowly, sensuously began to devour Jane’s mouth. Maura’s eyes flew open. Maura broke from that heavy kiss, eyes wide, her fingers to her lips staring at Jane.  Maura’s fingers slipped to her cheek.  She pulled back her fingertips.  Wet, wet with her tears.  Then her eyes flew to Jane once more.  Her chest pounding, her lips parted, and slightly swollen.

“You are not a dream,” Maura whispered.  Jane shook her head.  Maura swallowed as her fingertips went back to her lips.  Then she dropped them to her throat. 

“Jane,” Maura rasped deeply then she cleared her throat, “Jane, may I kiss you again?  Just like that?” Maura asked.  Jane’s smile lit up the dark room as Jane’s fingers took Maura’s from her throat and entwined them. 

“Yes,” Jane whispered huskily setting Maura’s body on fire.  Maura nodded but before she moved she blinked unshed tears, possibly from shock, she deduced.

“I’m afraid,” Maura confessed. 

“What are you afraid of, Maur?  I think, judging from that kiss, and me saying yes, we have established that I like you very much,” Jane pointed out shaking their hands with a smile trying to make her friend comfortable.

“I am afraid this is just another elaborate dream.  Me finally getting what I want after so damned long,” Maura closed her eyes, sighed, and let her shoulders slump.

“How long?” Jane asked surprised, and then Maura shook her head.

“Too long,” Maura said as she leaned her forehead on Jane’s shoulder.  Jane’s hand relinquished their hold on Maura’s and then her strong arms lifted to pulled Maura too Jane’s chest. Maura wrapped her own arms around Jane and once more she began shaking her head.

“Please, don’t be a dream,” Maura whispered over and over.

Jane sat there holding this brilliant woman in her arms as she crumbled in front of her praying, or wishing, that Jane was real.  Jane had no inkling of the details of Maura’s dreams but evidently seeing Jane sitting at the piano, playing and then sitting with her, kissing her, sparked Maura not to believe the moment was real, it was truly them.  Jane began to sway them back and forth, rubbing circles into her back.

“How can I prove to you this is not a dream?  That I am sitting here holding the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and I absolutely adore you?” Jane asked softly.  Feeling her voice catch in her throat. 

“Tell me something you have never told me before?” Maura sniffed in Jane’s shoulder.  Jane chuckled and tugged the woman tightly to her causing Maura to basically lay into her frame.  Jane stroked Maura’s hair.

“Ya know when I call you Googlemouth, or Miss Know-it-all?” Jane asked, and Maura nodded her head, “I secretly think its sexy,” Jane smiled as Maura let a small scoff followed by a little laugh break through.

“You think my overbearing intellectual rants are sexy? Now I know this is a dream,” Maura said pulling away from Jane as she wiped at her eyes with a sad smile. Jane tipped Maura’s face up to look into Jane’s eyes.

“Fine, be stubborn.  Let your scientific mind decipher this,” Jane reached to Maura’s hand and placed it over Jane’s heart, then slid it up to her throat, “Do dreams have heartbeats?” Jane watched as Maura’s fingers pressed into Jane’s throat and then her brow furrowed.

“Dreams are also not warm to the touch,” Maura murmured, “You are real,” Maura blinked and then swallowed, “You are real,” Maura breathed when Jane nodded and then Jane used the fingers of her left hand to sweep a lock of hair behind Maura’s ear.

“Yup,” Jane said popping the ‘P’ of her confirmation. Jane stood from the piano and held out her hand for Maura.  Maura took it without hesitation.  Jane walked them back to bed and then lay back in bed Jane holding Maura as Maura curled into Jane.

“What were you doing up?” Maura finally asked after a while.

“I slept some, but I woke up to a gorgeous woman stealing all of my covers,” Jane laughed as Maura playfully slapped at her abdomen, “And then I…” Jane swallowed and looked away. Maura looked up.

“Jane you can tell me anything,” Maura whispered listening to the skipping of Jane’s heart beat below her ear.

“I wanted you,” Jane rasped barely louder than the thumping of her beating heart.  Maura gasped but didn’t move.  It was sudden, as if a tidal wave swept throughout their bodies, wreaking havoc on their nervous system, destroying logical thought just as that wave would destroy a coastal village. Maura and Jane both paused, held their breaths.  It was Jane that moved.  It was Maura that welcomed her.

Jane looked down into Maura’s eyes as she pushed her onto her back and settled her weight onto Maura’s smaller frame.  Jane was not heavy, in fact she felt right settled between Maura’s legs, hip to hip, as Jane curled her fingers into Maura’s hair.

“I want you still,” Jane whispered.

“If I told you to take what you want, would you do?” Maura asked feeling fear lodge in her throat.

“I would ask you.  I would never take what is not freely given,” Jane watched as Maura’s eyes grew wide, “Maura, I want to make this special, I want this to be perfect, and right, and…” Jane was cut off.

Maura seized Jane’s lips to silence her, to prompt the woman into action, or simply to make her choose.  She couldn’t lay there, growing more and more heated as that sensuous rasp of Jane’s voice filtered into her ears speeding up her heart, and firing off sensations that caused Maura’s arousal to build.  Maura resumed the kiss she started at the piano.  She licked, and tasted, and all the while Jane let her explore.  She let her test the waters of their evolving relationship. 

When Jane finally slipped her tongue into Maura’s mouth, savored Maura, a switch was flipped.  Jane growled into Maura’s mouth. Maura clawed at Jane’s back trying to pull her further into her body, if she could.  Maura craved that closeness.  Jane had not done anything other than kiss her and she craved her, all of her, and every part of her. 

“Maur…” Jane whispered, “Are you sure?’ Jane asked between breaths.

“Yes, but only if this is what you want to.  I am ok to wait, Love,” Maura said as she swept a finger over Jane’s jaw seeing if the term of endearment would be accepted.  Jane dove forward.

People write love scenes in stories, people preform them on screen, but no one had truly captured the moment when two people essentially become one entity of tangled limps, wanting lips, seeking hands and plunging fingers. For both women they were completely taken, completely at the others mercy. Both begging to stop, and then a slit second later both were pleading for more. Words written in trashy novels, and ludicrous love scenes held not a single flame from the smallest candle to the fire they felt that moment. 

“Jane please,” Maura would beg.

“Maur… God,” Jane would pray.

When each woman slipped into the other, they felt the overwhelming sense of peace for a cherished second before passion over took them.  Give and take, take and give. Every time Jane came from Maura’s administrations, there were pinpricks of light flashing behind her clenched eyes lids when her core seemed to release in a small explosion of ecstasy.  When Maura was finally taken, she let Jane claim every part of her.  Heart, body and soul, and as her orgasm crested the first time she screamed her lovers name into the night when her hips lifted them both from the bed.  Each time she came after Maura thanked whoever was listening for the moments of divinity she felt in Jane’s embrace.

She waited, to wake up.  She wished she never would.  Their exploration of one another lasted until they could not move, and sleep seemed the only activity they were capable of.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Maura sprang awake.  Her hand shot to her right, her eyes still closed.

“FUCK! DAMNIT!” she growled and slammed her hand against her bed.  She felt her tears slip from her eyes.  No!  Not again!

“I was wondering how the morning after with you would be, but I didn’t think you would be cursing like a sailor,” joked a husky voice.  Maura’s eyes shot open and she took in her surroundings.  She found the woman standing in the door way, spectacularly nude, arms crossed, and a smile on her lovely lips.

“I thought...” Maura began but she flew from the bed and surprised the detective as she sped to her, wrapped her arms around her waist, body to body, flesh to flesh, as Maura took Jane’s lips with her own.  But Jane pulled away after a moment.

“Maura, we have to talk,” Jane began, looked away from her and walked to the bed.  Maura’s heart tripped into over drive.

“Oh my god…” Maura pulled her hand from Jane’s.

“Maura its about last night…” Jane tried to begin but she saw Maura slowly begin to close off.  Jane’s brow creased.

“Ma took my car home,” Jane said and then Maura’s head flew up unshed tears in her eyes, “Do you mind taking me to work with you today?”

“What?” Maura asked trying to mentally shift her mind into a different gear. 

“Ma took my car home.  Can we go to work together?”  Jane asked watching Maura process, confused.

“You… Are you… Are you regretting last night?” Maura swallowed after she rushed out the question. 

“Nope,” Jane said smiling from ear to ear once again popping the ‘P’ finally understanding Maura distress.

“Oh my God you will be the death of me!” Maura groaned as she fell back onto the bed.  Then she felt Jane kissing her lower abdomen, then up the middle of her torso, up her sternum, then to her throat, and finally Maura opened her eyes to see Jane hovering above her, grinning.

“As long as its death by bliss, then I think I’m ok with that,” Jane smirked cheekily. Maura growled with a smile on her face then took Jane’s lips with a small smile. She flipped Jane surprising the detective with her strength.

“I love you,” Maura said as she pinned Jane beneath her. She paused thinking she went to far.  She went to move from Jane, but hands caught her hips that continued to straddle Jane’s.

“We have always been on this path, haven’t we?” Jane asked Maura.  Maura tilted her head to consider the question and then Maura nodded. Jane smiled softly up at the woman, “I believe I have always sort of loved you, but I am happy that I am in love with you,” Jane said watching Maura. 

“Are you sure you are not a dream?” Maura asked grinning at her lover.

“Maybe I am a dream come true?” Jane supplied.  Maura smiled and rose from the mattress.

“Maybe,” then Maura turned around, “Want a shower?”

Jane had never wanted to take a shower so badly in her entire life.


	13. Chapter 13

The car ride to Maura’s place was comfortable and quick.  All to quick.  Maura bit her lip thinking of her evening, and morning, and later morning.  Maura was not in the least bit surprised that Jane was an exceptional lover, but the way Jane played her body like her piano did make her wonder.

“Jane,” Maura voiced over the low volume of the radio, “You are… I had…” Maura sighed and took a breath. A hand clasped her own and she looked to their entwined fingers. Then chanced a glance toward Jane.  She lounged in the passenger seat fully dressed and ready for work.  A cheeky grin on her lips told of their… ahem… shower.

“Just ask your questions Maur.  I promise I will never lie to you,” Jane said.  She knew the other woman couldn’t lie to her.  It was only fair to give her the same curtesy.  Maura smiled weakly and nodded.

“Have you slept with women before?” Maura blurted into the cabin of her car.  Jane blinked, and Maura internally yelled at herself.  Jane’s thumb stroked Maura’s wrist.

“Why?” Jane asked wondering what in the world prompted this line of questioning.

“Well, I had no doubt you would have been a wonderful lover, exceptional in fact, but…” Maura swallowed, “But you seemed to know what you were doing… with my body.”

“Maura,” Jane began but let go of her lover’s hand and looked out the window watching trees go by, “I have never slept with another woman before.  I never really thought about it before I thought of us becoming more than friends.  Sure, I find some women aesthetically pleasing, beautiful even, but all of my experience was with men,” Jane confessed.  Maura placed her hands on the steering wheel.

“So, you are a natural at lesbian sex?” Maura asked smiling slightly to relieve the tension.

“Hardly,” Jane chuckled but looked out the window, “I…I… Maur does it really matter?” Jane asked as she turned toward Maura. 

“I guess not.  I was pleasantly surprised,” Maura replied her interest piqued.  Then she heard Jane sigh, and she peeked over and saw the detective bow her head in embarrassment.

“I don’t wanna start a relationship with doubts, or secrets,” Jane said and took a deep breath, “You can’t tell anyone,” Jane growled pointing a finger at Maura. Maura smiled and pulled her finger tips over her lips and pretended to lock her lips shut and threw away an invisible key. Jane stared at her and let out a deep breath then took another one.

“I studied,” Jane whispered.

Maura blinked, took her hand from Jane and placed it on the steering wheel, and clutched the turning apparatus.  She looked over at Jane and saw her dejected look on her face and Maura couldn’t keep it back any longer. She laughed, she full on belly laugh making Jane cross her arms over her chest, and pout as they pulled into Maura’s drive way.  Maura cut the engine and reached over to Jane, but Jane jerked away petulantly.

“Jane look at me,” Maura pleaded with a smile on her lips and a gleam in her eye.

“No, you laughed at me,” Jane stubbornly sat as far as she could from Maura.

“Oh Jane,” Maura said, and she reached out and pulled Jane by the collar of her shirt over and kissed her.  Maura kissed Jane for all it was worth and when Jane finally relaxed, and Jane’s lips messed and molded and gave and took along with Maura’s Maura pushed away licking her lips, tasting Jane on her lips.

“You went out of your way to read and research for me,” Maura took her fingers and pulled Jane’s face toward hers to look at her to see her, “No one has done that for me, Jane.  No one.  I simply laughed because you must have devoured what ever literature you have read because you were exquisite,” Maura said tried to get Jane to open up.  Jane’s posture softened.

“Yeah?” Jane asked softly with that rasp that sent Maura in to shivers when she heard.  Working with Jane will be interesting now that she has heard that voice, deep and husky shout her name in the throes of passion.

“Yes,” Maura confirmed then opened the door and they got out.  Jane let Maura race to the stairs, but Maura turned around quickly and eyed Jane, “I want those books,” Maura stated, and Jane grinned.

“They are in my Kindle Library. I’ll lend them to you,” Jane promised. 

Maura nodded and padded upstairs.  Jane turned when she heard some one nosey clear their voice from the kitchen.  Angela stood there with a coffee mug cradled in her hands held up toward her lips.  Jane could see the wide smile on her mother’s lips and it made Jane’s stomach twist.  She walked to her mother as normal as possible.

“So how did it go?” Angela asked. 

“Fine,” Jane replied to her mother not wanting to give Angela too much information.  Then Jane turned her head toward Angela and their gazes caught.  Angela’s eyes grew wide, and Jane snapped her head away. 

“Janie,” Angela said softly, and Jane went to stand and walk from the kitchen, but Angela was quick, very quick, “Jane Clementine Rizzoli, you will stop right there!” Angela busted out the middle name and Jane cringed and stopped as her mother stood before her.

“I am happy for you Jane,” Angela said softly and then placed her hands-on Jane’s shoulders, “Do I want details… no, but do not run scared from me, your mother.  I know that Maura makes you feel Jane.  Don’t blow it, don’t run from it, and dont be afraid of her,” Angela placed a hand on Jane’s cheek, “Be good to each other,” Angela said softly.  Jane placed her hand on Angela’s wrist, squeezed it and pulled from Angela as she heard a soft clearing of a throat. 

Maura stood there as gorgeous as ever.  She wore light make up, and her normally down and perfect hair was twisted up onto her head.  The Navy-blue skirt and baby blue blouse were breathtaking. Maura looked at Jane and then Jane looked to her mother.  She knew Maura heard almost every word that was said.

“I wont Ma.  I promise,” Jane then smiled toward Maura and offered her arms, just as Maura did for her last night, and off to work they went.

OOOoooOOOooo

“Jane,” Frost beckoned as she walked through the elevator doors.  She already wanted to go back to Maura and do…. Other things, but murder calls. 

“What’s up?” Jane asked as she took off her jacket and looked at Frost as he tapped the keys on the key board. 

On the projected screen sat the Face of Corrine Little, and that of the unidentified man.  Frost didn’t have to say a word as Jane looked at the faces side by side.  Jane looked to Korsak, and Frost.

“Ill be damned,” Jane whispered. Jane sprang to her desk and went through her notes and dug out Corrine Little’s phone number. 

“Frost can you run search on her number and see if connects to any of our vics cells before the time of their murders.  Let’s say the timeframe could be anywhere 24 hours before the TOD,” Jane paced as Frost ran the number, and then her brought up the records on the monitor on the wall.  Jane and Korsak smiled. 

“Gotcha you son of a bitch,” Jane turned back to Frost, “Now is she a male or a female because that was a real looking disguise?” Jane asked, and Frost’s face fell.

“Jane how am I supposed to find that out?” Frost squirmed when Jane watched him.

“Maybe she is so distraught after the untimely death of her lover she would want companionship of a friend,” Jane supplied.

“Yeah, stud.  Go for it.  She is cute,” Korsak laughed as Frost glared at both of them.

“But what if she isn’t a She?” Frost tried to argue.

“That’s what we are trying to figure out, Detective,” Jane grinned evilly at him.  Frost slumped back in his seat.

“How in the hell do I get into these messes?” Frost groaned.

“Maybe I can help,” a voice came from behind them.  Jane smile as she turned, and then crossed her arms as she waited for Maura to continue.

“The DNA from the skin tissue collected from under the nails of your latest victim says that it is definitely a female,” Maura stated reading from the file looking at Korsak who took the file. Korsak chuckled at Frost, and Jane had to admit his color came back to his face.  She was asking a lot from the guy. 

“Frost can you put up the side by side you showed me?” Jane asked her partner and then turned to Maura, “Do you think this is the same person?” Jane asked, and Maura looked closely. Then she shook her head.

“I don’t know but these images are very close, almost identical.  I would guess…” Maura flashed a smile at Jane, “But I don’t guess, but it might be possible that they could be twins but with out testing and conclusive data and proof it is simply a theory,” Maura rambled.

“So it is a guess?” Jane asked toying with Maura.  Maura playfully narrowed her eyes and turned to Korsak.

“It is not uncommon for twins to be close in looks,” Maura said to the older detective and he nodded.

“This takes me back to a case where it was a duo killer.  They could not figure it out because they looked so much alike that with a little make up and a wig they could pass off as each other,” Korsak looked up from the file to Jane, “This might be similar.”

“We need to interview Corrine Little again. Korsak can we get her to do a lie detector exam?”  Jane asked but Korsak shook his head.

“Not without a court order or voluntary participation,” Korsak replied.

“Alright,” Jane paced and then she looked up and turned to Maura, “Can you be there to read her face? Ya know, the facial twitch stuff you know?” Jane asked.  Maura nodded.

“Alright,” Jane said slapping her hands together and rubbing them together, adrenaline racing through her body, “Lets to get moving,” Jane looked at Frost, “Can you be on the look out for someone that looks like Little?” Frost nodded and then he grabbed his wallet and shield from his desk and raced to the door to the Ballet.  Jane and Korsak stood there looking at the file with Maura.

“Vince this feels weird,” Jane said, “Something seems off,” Jane said and then sat down looking off into space thinking, “Why?  The big motive, why go through all of this? Stephanie Blackwell said the killer said it was their time.  Being the star can’t be the reason could it?  Its too simple, too easy, and so over done,” Jane asked and sighed.  Maura sat across from her in a chair just as Korsak did.  Jane couldn’t help the lift of her lips as she saw Maura smiling back at her.

“How was the ballet?” Korsak asked the two and then they blinked from thoughts of last night and turned toward Korsak.  He was all smiles.

“Vince,” Jane began but she was cut off.

“I don’t care Jane, but I don’t know how Cavanaugh would take you two fraternizing, so be careful, and lay low,” Korsak advised and stood to go to his desk leaving the two women sitting across from each other.

“He is right, and we didn’t talk about how we would behave at work,” Maura said shifting slightly.

“There are already rumors about us,” Jane scoffed then leveled Maura with a stare, “Short of pretending to hate each other, I am not sure how I could keep my hands off you,” Jane whispered.  Maura smiled lovingly and nodded.

“Do you want to keep a distance?” Maura asked and looked away.

“No, never, but how about we play it as professionally as possible, okay?” Jane offered, and Maura nodded looking at her hands, “Maura,” Jane said softly making hazel eyes look up, “I love you.”

Maura’s breath caught, and her eyes glassed over with an onslaught of tears.  She blinked them back and nodded and stood, posture straight and proud.

“I love you to, Detective,” Maura smirked and then walked back to the elevators, and then to the morgue.

“You have it bad, and I think it looks good on you,” Korsak said out of nowhere.  Jane only smiled and nodded.  No use denying it to the older man.

OOOoooOOOooo

“That guy is a cop,” he said to the woman next to him.  They watched the African American man busy himself on the set following express directions from the director. 

“He is a student.  Not a cop,” she said as she gazed out onto the set. 

“We need to get rid of him,” he said to her.  He saw her shake her head, her resolve was wavering, her drive to be the best at all cost was teetering.

“No, please no more killing,” she pleaded.  He only smiled as a feral grin stretched upon his lips.

“I will make sure you are the star.  It is after all my job to make sure you are taken care of… little sister,” he said but she spun away, “You will follow directions Corrine, if you don’t, you will be taken care of, and mark my words, I will not hesitate,” he gritted through clenched teeth.

“Chase, stop this please,” she pleaded.

“If I go, you go, sister,” Chase growled, “We have been too long in the shadows.  It is time for both of us to be stars.”

Corrine Little had never been more frightened in her entire life.  She swallowed as her brother, watched the set design hustle and bustle.  She watched as Chase watched the man on the stage.  Barry, he said his name was.  He was a nice young man.  Gentle and kind, she could tell in his light brown eyes. She sighed when her brother left her alone. She clutched her phone in her hand. She scrolled through her contacts and hit the button.

“Detective Rizzoli, its Corrine Little, can we talk?”


	14. Chapter 14

Jane looked down at her phone when she hung up with the clearly distraught Corrine Little.  Korsak sat next to her as she wrote down the information she collected from the woman and then he nodded and waited for Jane to speak.  Even though he was Sargent and their superior officer, this was Jane’s team, always has been.  Korsak, Frost and Jane were the tightest unit in homicide, but Korsak knew that if it was not for Jane’s Sherlock Holmes style to draw conclusions from nowhere, and Frost’s computer geekery, Korsak and team would not have been as successful on their own. 

“She will be in to chat in an hour,” Jane said to the space still clutching her phone. Gripping, and then ungrasping.  “I need to get Maura to do the facial reading thing she does, and make sure there is an interview room available,” Jane said as she began to move.  Korsak reached out his beefy hand and placed it on her elbow stopping her and thus snapping her from her haze.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he devoted every ounce of his attention to his protégé.

“Something doesn’t fit Vince,” Jane scrubbed her face with her hands, “Why in the hell would she want to come and talk?  What could be so important?  It doesn’t feel right.  Call it my gut,” Jane said and then smiled as Maura constantly told her that her intestines don’t talk.

“Jane, sometimes people feel guilty if they are guilty.  Maybe she knows something, or hell maybe she heard or saw something,” Korsak stood up and got his coffee mug, “Who knows maybe she had nothing to do with anything,” Korsak shrugged and walked to the District One Café for a refill. 

Jane raked her hands over face once more and growled.  She hated the feeling of uncertainty.  This wasn’t like most cases.  The woman had thrown her for a loop for a few days now all because Jane could not get a good handle on her.  Her reaction, the placement, and then seeing her in the show.  It was all too much for Jane’s detective mind to ponder.  She knew, without a doubt that Corrine Little had something to do with everything. 

She took a deep breath and looked at her watch.  She winced at trying to get Maura within an hour of the interview, but it was what had to be done.  She then smiled because she was about to go and get Maura. Ever since their morning interlude, and then their shower, she felt her fingertips simply twitch and itch to feel Maura’s skin once more. She didn’t even realize she hit the elevator, she didn’t register she was even in the box doing down until she heard the ping, and the doors slid open.  Jane walked to the doors and looked at her lover.  Her Lover.  She was simply in awe.  Jane slowly shoved the glass door opened and softly approached Maura.

“I can hear you,” Maura said with a smile on her face as she turned to Jane, “And even if I didn’t I have been listening all day for your footsteps, and for those doors to open hoping it would be you,” Maura said looking up at Jane.  They stood apart, a large distance from the other, but the looks they shared, the smiles remembering what they had done, it felt so much more intimate than the few yards between them.  Then Jane’s eyes dropped away but a shy smile stayed on her lips.  Maura shifted slightly.  She crossed her arms and leaned against the autopsy table.

“What is going on in that beautiful head of yours, Detective?” Maura inquired lowly, making sure she wasn’t heard, but knew her people were elsewhere.  Jane ran her hands through her hair and looked up at Maura, and in that look Maura saw doubt, but she waited.

“I am,” Jane paused and looked around making sure no one could hear her, see her when she was weak, “I am just…. Overwhelmed,” Jane started and then saw Maura shift slightly and then Jane crossed the distance and stood next to her both leaning against the autopsy table and facing the Morgue entry way.

“I meant, that I am overwhelmed by us, finally, after so long,” Jane said trying to say what she really wanted to but stammered.

“So overwhelmed is a positive in this instance?” Maura asked still wading through the uncertainty she sometimes felt around Jane.  Then Jane lowered her hand and clasped her fingers around Maura’s.  They felt the warmth of their skin, the soothing sensations of their touch, and then Jane entwined their fingers. 

“Oh Yes, positive overwhelmafication,” Jane said smiling knowing it wasn’t a word but looked to Maura to see what she would say.  Maura only looked up, deep brown caught Hazel, and Maura’s eyes grew.

“Overwhelmafication is not a word Jane,” Maura finally stated, and Jane chuckled and then laughed.  She didn’t care.  She pulled the woman her heart belonged to into her arms and sought out her lips.  Maura’s smile slipped over her lips as Jane’s mouth found hers.  They broke away.

“You make me happy,” Maura whispered as she stood next to Jane, both taking the stances they had before their mouths thought to search out their partners.  Maura turned from those glass doors, hoping, wanting everything and nothing at the same time.  She tilted her head at such a quandary.

“Jane,” Maura asked as Jane looked to the doors staring into the same space, “How can a person want everything and nothing at the same time?” Maura asked as she stepped from Jane and walked to her office knowing that Jane would follow her. Jane sat on the couch, then made a face and then sat, or lounged in the red chair of horrors.

“Is this a hypothetical or a real question? “Jane asked in return rubbing her hands together, and then massaging her scars.

“I find I am going through that exact sensation,” Maura said as she fired up her lap top hoping that work or just turning on the machine would help her calm her nerves. She never saw out of her peripheral vision Jane move, she never felt her walk toward her and then slip into a kneeling position next to her.

“Maura,” Jane tried to get Maura’s attention, but the doctor kept fretting with the keyboard then Jane reached out for her chin, brought her face to meet hers, “I have no idea how one can feel two complexly different sensations at one time, but I feel them with you two.  When I am with you I want to be held, cocooned in your arms, and then in the same second, I want to protect, take a bullet for you.  I want to give you everything I have and tell you everything I want to be, but in the same moment I pause, I freeze, because I am afraid to tell you these things.  My entire life is a what if.  In your world we call these theories, Dear,” Jane said smiling at the endearment and then pulled Maura’s hands her lips and then kissed them.

“But what I do know with out a doubt, without a second emotion or thought is I feel for you,” Jane then looked Maura in the eyes, full on straight bore into her eyes, “I feel magnificent and small, I feel powerful and fragile.  But over all those slightly polar opposites is that I feel precious, like a treasure,” Jane then whispered her voice rasped with a small croak, “I feel loved beyond standard or measure,” Jane finished her speech and then stood.  But Maura caught her and pulled her down to her lips crashing together and then softly they slipped their mouths other the others, seeking, tasting, and delving into promises of what could come.

“Ahem,” came from the door way and Jane smiled as Maura straightened her hair, and her blouse when she heard who was at the door.

“Detective Korsak, come in,” Maura offered as Jane stood as did Maura and offered him a chair. 

“No thanks Doc.  I was wondering if Jane came to collect you,” Korsak said as he sipped on his coffee looking over the rim of his cup.

“Collect me?” Maura asked confused.

“Yeah, the lady I told you about and asked you to sit in on the interview,” Jane informed, and Maura nodded, “she will be here in an hour,” Jane heard Korsak clear his throat and then looked at her watch, “Ok 30 minutes.  Will you be ready by then?  You don’t have to on such…” Jane was cut off by Maura placing a finger on her lips.  Then Maura’s eyes softened as she slid the pad of her finger over Jane’s lips, memorizing, feeling, and loving the feel of that tissue beneath her fingertips.

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes, Detective,” Maura said with a smile and Jane nodded and stood with a grin and turned to find Korsak looking intently at one of Maura’s African masks. 

“Come on old man,” Jane said as she took his arm and dragged him away with him Laughing. 

Maura sat there as Jane’s words ran through her thoughts.  Her feelings, her concerns, her contradictory statements as she laid her soul bare to Maura as Jane kneeled by her in her office in the morgue.

“Oh, Jane,” was all that Maura could whisper into her space alone as she pressed her hand to her chest feeling her heart race.  Dear all medical and science Gods, she loved that woman.

OOOoooOOOooo

Korsak stood in the interview auxiliary room looking in at the woman and Jane with Maura beside him.  They agreed that Jane would wear the receiver in her ear on one stipulation… Maura could not babble scientific facts in her ear as she interviewed the woman.  Maura agreed she could only tell Jane if she thought she was telling the truth or not.  Maura was their human lie detector in this moment.

Maura listened to the conversation and smiled as she watched Jane do what she did best.  Corrine Little was a waif of a woman, her body language screamed fear and nervous, but her facial features made Maura pause.

“I’m glad you came in Miss Little,” Jane said to the woman as she reached for the woman’s hand to shake it in greeting.  When Jane grasped her hand, Maura saw the twitch in Jane’s eyes.  Maura sat forward and saw Jane place her hand under the table and clench her hand open and closed.  Then open and close her fingers as if they were… Sticky.

“Detective Korsak, could you make sure we have an evidence bag, a swab kit, and some antibacterial soap on standby,” Maura said but forgot that Jane could hear every word she said.  Jane simply sat rigid and listened as Korsak made a call to the Lab downstairs. Maura took a deep breath and apologized.  Jane gave a thumbs up under the table.

“I am here because I am afraid,” Corrine little said almost lunging across the table.

“Truth,” Maura said into the receiver.

 “Can you tell me what happened?” Jane said softly and then reached across the table, “You can talk to me,” Jane comforted the woman.  Maura watched the woman’s facial features.

“He made me do so many horrible things,” Corrine said as she threw her face into her hands, “I don’t want this anymore,” she said crying into her palms.

“You can talk to me, tell me what he made you do,” Jane reassured the woman. Maura saw Jane reach forward and then Jane’s hand stopped half way.  There was a shift in the air.  The hair on Maura’s arms stood up as a blood chilling laugh emanated from behind Corrine’s hands. 

“Jane be careful, I think…” Maura was cut off as Corrine pulled her hands from her face revealing a smile that spilt her face.  Eyes gleamed with dark intent. 

“Corrine doesn’t understand what she is doing,” the woman in front of Jane spoke with a lower timber to her voice.

“Jane, she has a personality split.  Be careful,” Maura said as she reached for Korsak to her right and then man placed a hand on hers when Maura found his arm.  They both watched Jane pull her hand back and then something in Jane shift. 

“She has her,” Korsak said as he stared into the room and then Maura squeezed his arm, “She is now in her wheelhouse.  Perps have always been easier for Jane to crack,” Korsak said with pride.  Maura only nodded as Jane visibly coiled like a snake ready to strike if she needed, but lounged back like a panther, waiting dangerously for her prey to screw up.

“And if Corrine doesn’t understand what she is doing, I assume you do understand.  Who am I speaking to?” Jane asked as she placed her hand on the table indicating to the woman.

“Corrine wanted to be the best dancer on the eastern seaboard, but she was too nice,” the woman spat in Corrine’s low voice.

“And who says that?” Jane asked once more leaning back in her chair.

“I do,” the woman growled as she sprang to her feet and slammed her hands on the metal table.

“And who are you to be the judge of that?” Jane asked eyes darting to where woman’s fingers splayed on the table.  Then another wicked laugh rolled out of the woman’s throat.

Korsak’s phone went off.  Maura watched fascinated.  Split personality.  She has at least two alters, one dominant, one submissive.  Which one is the original? Korsak showed Maura the phone and nodded.

“Jane ask her about Chase,” Maura said.  Frost got Korsak info from one of the dancers about how Corrine had pulled into herself, broke many ties with friends at the ballet, and shut herself out to the world.  It all happened after her brother died about a year ago.

“Detective, could you ask Detective Frost to pull all cases in the past year in the Massachusetts that had any questionable deaths due to Oleander poisoning?” Korsak nodded as he began to text back to Frost.

“So… I am willing to bet that Chase would be disappointed to know you are killing people,” Jane said and instantly Maura knew it was the wrong move.  The blonde was over the table quicker than lightning and pinned Jane to the ground knocking over the chair onto her back.  Jane yelled out as her head hit the floor, and her hands flew to the hands at her throat.

“I am Chase, you ignorant fool,” Corrine growled close to Jane’s ear.  Jane’s eyes flew open. 

Maura heard every word, and her mouth dropped open as Jane’s eyes narrowed on the face above hers.  It happened all to fast, it was almost instantaneous.  Korsak was in the interview room, pulled the woman off Jane, cuffed her hands behind her back.  Jane stood but her hand went to the table to steady her.  Maura saw her blink and shake her head. Concussion, damnit.

“Before I book you, tell me, why did you kill all those people?” Jane asked before she let Korsak leave the interview room, where they were still being filmed.

“If you spent more years than you can remember, breaking toes, deforming your feet, and giving everything you had just to be the best, wouldn’t want your dream to come true?” Corrine spat back in question.

“So, you killed all these people, so you can be number one?” That’s fucked lady,” Jane gritted as her vision swam.

“No, you imbecile,” the woman cackled at Jane like she was a little girl, “I did it, so WE could be number one.  Screw the beauty who was about to marry the circus act.  Fuck the man who fucked my sister, used her, and kept her in that corral line.  And screw the woman who should not have been in the balcony and saw too much.  I did it for us.  It is something you will never understand, to kill for the future you deserve,” Corrine yelled at Jane.  Then it was sudden, her body went limp, her eyes glassed over, and a whimper escaped her lips.  Jane watched the transformation. 

“What happened? What am I doing in handcuffs?” Corrine asked fear written on her face and coated her voice.

“Oh my God,” Jane whispered as she nodded to Korsak to take her away. 

Maura burst threw the door as Jane’s legs finally decided to give out.  Maura caught Jane against the table, and then pulled the chair over to make Jane sit.  Her fingers shook as she moved behind Jane and separated strands of hair and found red.

“Jane, you need a doctor,” Maura hissed as more blood seeped into Jane’s hair.  Jane’s hand moved back to the goose egg sized knot on her scalp.  Jane cursed and yanked her hand back in front of her and then saw the blood on her fingertips.  She sighed and the nodded.

“Thank you for not fighting me on this,” Maura sighed and helped Jane to her feet and stood under her arm as a crutch.  Korsak came back and took over.

“I’m grabbing our belongings, and I will meet you at the hospital,” Maura said as she watched Jane walk away swaying then leaning heavily against Korsak. 

Maura turned and head to booking.  She reached Corrine Little and stood in front of her, looked into her eyes. The woman flinched away under Maura’s stare.

“The oleander, how did you get them to ingest it?” Maura asked, and then Corrine shook her head.  Maura reached out and shook the woman’s shoulders.

“Injected it into the marshmallows,” Corrine whispered.

“Who was it? You or Chase?” Maura asked eyes starring daggers at Corrine.  After a moment the woman shook her head.

“I don’t know any more,” Corrine said and then Maura nodded. 

Maura turned on her heal, ran to Jane’s desk, got her ID, her keys, and her wallet.  She took the elevator down to the Morgue and collected her purse.  When she got to her car she was in a jumbled state. She shook as she put her keys in the ignition and pulled out of her parking space. The phone rang, and she jumped in the driver’s seat.  She answered using her hands-free system on her care.

“Dr. Isles speaking,” She answered not looking at the caller ID.

“Doctor Isles Jane isn’t answering, and neither is Korsak.  Do you know where they are? Its important,” Frosts voice cut through the air.

“On the way to the hospital.  Jane was interviewing Corrine Little and she attacked Jane and sent her to the floor hitting her head on impact,” Maura said clinically.

“Ok So Corrine Little is in custody?” Frost asked sounding relieved.

“Yes, what’s happened?” Maura asked so she could tell Korsak as soon as she saw him if he didn’t get his cell phone first.

“Her apartment, its… Its covered in faces, many of them are dead.  Its like she had been doing this for a long time.  I ran the report Korsak asked…” Frost paused.  That pause made Maura’s heart rate skyrocket.

“Pictures of us are on her wall,” Frost said.

“Explain please and be very specific.  I am almost to the hospital, and once I get there I can tell Detective Korsak what you told me, and I will stay with Jane while he goes to you.”

“I’m on the wall with you, and Jane.  We are placed under a column, like a T-chart.  Kill, and live.  We are under the kill column,” Frost said as calmly as he could, but Maura could hear the elevated speed of his speech, and the higher note in his voice.

“I’m there in the parking garage, as soon as I can I will send Detective Korsak to you,” Maura said then hung up. 

She raced into the building and then went to Emergency, or at least that’s where she would have taken her.  Due to Jane being a police officer she was seen immediately, and Maura sighed in relief when she saw Jane’s smile and her head wrapped in a bandage.

“Detective, please call Detective Frost.  It’s important,” Maura informed Korsak, and the man looked down to his phone.  8 missed calls.  He cursed and excused himself.  Maura walked over to the hospital bed and sat on the edge taking Jane’s hand.

“How is it you always end up here?” Maura sked looking down at their hands.

“What can I say, I’m a walking accident waiting to happen,” Jane grinned as she watched Maura’s face.

“Maur, this is just a bump on the head.  You know, that right?” Jane asked as she squeezed Maura’s hand.

“Of course, I know that, it’s just…” Maura swallowed then stood up and began to pace as she placed her hands on her hips, “It’s the first injury since we have become intimate, and I never thought it would hurt more than it did,” Maura confessed.  Jane shifted and slowly edged to the side of the bed.  She reached out and pulled Maura to her and in between her legs.  Bodies touched, and Jane placed a small kiss on Maura’s neck as she wrapped her lanky arms around the smaller woman. 

Maura felt all her anxiety ebb away slowly as Jane held her.  She kissed Jane’s neck back but turned her head and simply held Jane and let herself be held.

“Jane,” Maura whispered and then held the woman tighter to her, “what you said earlier, thank you,” Maura whispered over Jane’s shoulder. 

“It was hard to say it, but I trust you Maur,” Jane rasped over Maura’s shoulder and Maura shook as she heard that confession and the effect that voice had on her way out of this world. Jane pulled out of Maura’s arms and motioned for the woman to sit on the bed next to her.

“So split personality?” Jane asked Maura and Maura nodded, “I didn’t expect that. Wow,” Jane chuckled. 

“What?” Maura asked as she looked over and smiled with jane at Jane’s inside joke.

“I wonder what the hell threw her off the deep end,” Jane mused.

“I think it was the death of her brother,” Maura said, “It’s a theory, but maybe its survivors’ guilt.”

“What do you mean?” Jane asked.

“They were in the car at the same time Corrine drove the car into the barricade of the Boston Bridge exiting the bridge.  The impact was so hard that the car flipped.  She survived, he did not,” Maura told Jane what Frost found out as he texted Korsak.

“What happened to the car, why did they crash?”

“She was drinking as driving,” Maur said softly, “She killed her brother,” Maura’s voice was flat, almost toneless.

“I could never imagine living through that, if I killed Frankie or Tommy…” Jane ran a hand through her hair but winced.  Maura nodded next to her.  A doctor came into the room.

“So when can I leave?” Jane asked impatiently.

“When I say you can Rizzoli,” snarled the doctor.  Maura blinked at the familiarity between the two.

“Come on Delgado.  Sign the papers and I am out of your hair,” Jane said with a charming smile.

“No,” the man was a gorgeous Latino, thick black hair, green eyes, and a warm smile.

“What if I said I will be under Doctor supervision?” Jane bargained. Maura frowned.

“Jane, I think the Doc…” Maura was silenced with a squeeze to her hand.

“I would say I want the doctor to know how much a pain in the ass you are, and you have a concussion, and you have a regimen to follow for the next 24 hours,” Delgado said still ticking boxes on his clipboard.

“I’m sure the doctor knows all of those things and will more than happy to let me go home and be supervised,” Jane promised.

“Jane, just make it more than 2 months without me seeing your raggedy ass, I will call it a miracle,” Delgado handed Maura the clipboard and a pen.  Maura looked down at with a frown, “I am assuming you will take responsibility for this idiot, Dr. Isles,” Dr. Delgado said with a wink and a smile. 

Maura smiled back and signed her name, then handed it to Jane, and then back to the Doctor. He went to the door and turned around and looked at Maura and pointed to Jane.

“When this one came in here she kept calling your name,” the doctor said, “Take care of her,” then he walked out of the room and left Maura to look at Jane.

“So, you called my name?” Maura said as she bumped Jane’s shoulder.

“Yeah, don’t trust that man,” Jane grinned bashfully.  Maura slid off the bed and held out her hand for Jane to take so she could steady her.

“Come on,” Maura said and then grinned mischievously, “I have to supervise you for at least 24 hours,” Maura let her tone drop and Jane looked at the woman with wide, blown dark brown eyes. 

“I think it might be a challenge to do that Doctor,” Jane countered but the lump in her throat stayed.

“I think I am up for it,” Maura grinned cheekily at her.  Jane shook her head.

“How did I get so lucky?” Jane murmured.

“I’m not lucky Jane,” Maura then turned to looked Jane square in the eyes, “I’m just thankful some dreams come true,” Maura leaned forward as Jane mimicked her motion and lips found home once again.  Jane broke the kiss as the elevator pinged they where on the right floor.

“You were in my dreams too Maur,” Jane smiled as Maura grinned brightly and helped Jane get in the car.

“Good,” Maura turned the keys in the ignition, “How do you fell about going home, and making some of those dreams a reality?”

Jane didn’t have to answer.  She didn’t have to move as Maura’s only answer to that question made her heart leap, and her fingers twitch.  It was a soft slow kiss to the top of Maura’s hand, and then Maura’s palm pressed to Jane’s cheek.  Jane nodded slightly.  Maura nodded back.  Here is to new beginnings, and dreams.

OOOoooOOOooo

Korsak and Frost closed the case.  Jane asked Corrine when she was Corrine why she came to the station when she did. Corrine sadly smiled and replied that even though the dead could talk, they didn't have to force her actions. Corrine Little was found on at least 3 counts of murder and 1 counts of assault.  When they went to court and the split personality hurt their placement, but the insanity plea won, and the woman was positioned in a mental health facility with 50 years and no chance for parole.

Maura and Jane… they both thank the heaves, almost nightly, for bringing each other into their lives. Jane once asked Maura is they had always been on that track to being more than friends, Maura said yes.  It was months later when Maura finally found out the extent of Jane’s dreams, and nightmares.  Hoyt was a constant factor in Jane’s nightmares, but Jane finally told her that her dreams had shifted.  It wasn’t Jane that escaped, or she saved Maura.  No, Maura saved Jane every time.  As for Maura’s dreams, let’s just say they come true every day.


End file.
